_colour my life_ my monologue

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

OMG. Today was SO AMUSING. Yeah Singapore Stock Challenge, at Ngee Ann Poly. (First joke of the day! Zonghe went to NANYANG poly. Lol la!) Haha I think the funniest part was when the people came by to promote the poly – “hello, what secondary school are you –“ *sees VJC badge* “- oh.. ok never mind” omg haha it was sooo weird. The lessons were pretty slow and quite dry. Perhaps because we’ve had 2 or 3 financial lit courses already, and a whole econs module. And a really seriously utterly elitist realization hit me. Which I shouldn’t say here. I think we were just allocated the wrong date – after all, we were supposed to be going on the 2nd and 3rd. Tomorrow’s the challenge itself but my group (pam, char) will be missing it. So I can focus on symposium and rewind. So I'll be in school dying from RM instead. Heh.

a moment in time.
01:16

Sunday, October 29, 2006

I hate people who confuse you with your own feelings.
Or maybe it’s just your own fault.

HEH. Markhsx is back on Need For Speed. Once I beat #3 I’ll go multiplayer. Just got a Viper SRT. The speed and acceleration can’t compare with others, but the car is damn light. All my cars are top notch. But they all just seem different. Mercerdes CLK 500 is still my all rounder and fave, IS 300 is the old faithful (my starter) and handles very easily, the Gallardo is GENIUS – acceleration and speed. Gosh I’m so buying a Lamborghini when I become rich and famous. The Corvette C6 – a classic, but I don’t use it much. Heh. WOO. I love speed. Adrenaline.

a moment in time.
01:41

Saturday, October 28, 2006

EWWW I can sing like Paris Hilton! EWWWWW. I just started singing Stars Are Blind cos it was playing and I sound just like her. oO Ok at least it's a falsetto. I hope. Haha I hope I'm still tenor bass cos that's a nice range LOL. Haha oh but I think guys who can sing high and control it have good voices.

a moment in time.
15:22

Heh. So today was the very last day the class was together… heh. No tears. Yay. We got back results along with the usual random shouting of names, and some final advice from ms low and took 3 last (full) class photos. Haha then after that we all headed for seoul garden! FINALLY. I finally felt accomplished as welfare rep. Finally had a class outing this year. Sadly, it had to be the end. But ah well. It was fun hahaha. Duh. Hahaha the first real photospree I’ve had in months lol. and I decided I don’t like seoul anymore. cos the food has a lot of flavouring. I’ve taken a disliking towards artificial stuff in food lol like flavouring and colouring. BUT ANYWAY hahahahahahahahah yay fun! And ms low joined us haha. and the photo taking was fun. Fun day la. LOL. heh. I made my signature “cream of mushroom”. WOO. and somehow ended up in the neoprint machine LOL. Nicole la. Haha so next year we’ll have a reunion taking neos again hahahahaha. Gosh.

Haha so we had nothing to do after lunch and neos. And went shopping at bugis street. Which I hate cos its damn claustrophobic and I always end up waiting for the girls to choose earrings. But this time there was naz sam zq accompanying me lol. and we went to the rooftop. Which is amazing! Haha can see for quite a few km. Even though its just 3rd level. And its damn good for taking artistic shots! Like this! (argh. Nicole you turned! The stitching got screwed..)

Hahahahah damn fun la! I’ll upload the pics to my yahoo someday. Heh. then we got chased from our newfound secret spot. Sigh. Hahaha but it’s a damn good place la. Shall return there. Haha then we walked around a bit more. And nic wanted a drink. Ended up at coffee connoisseur. Hahahah stupid la we din’t go to the OTHER tcc. The one like a lounge haha. haha talked and talked. About the good old days. LOL.

Haha cheek was fine I guess. I prefer comedies. It was really emotionally draining. And made me even more upset lol. but the acting was fine. It had meaning as well haha. a lot of irony heh. then home! hahahah.

Well, I guess happy memories are sad ones. As they pass. Michelle had my happy book for a few days haha. and suddenly she returned it to me. and it was FILLED with really touching notes. Thanks so much. Haha michelle, laura especially. My rm grp =) hahaha and jastine, Eunice, ZHI QUUUUUUAAAAAN, YANG YIIII, xx (I think? Haha), zh, xtine and nic who wrote a really long and cute 6 years tgt message today =) and whoever else whose names dint appear haha thanks so so much. Of cos I feel a sort of emptiness in my heart. But everytime I read those messages, there’s a wonderful tingle through my spine and I feel so so so happy. =) haha and when I was gone taking neos, xtine secretly took a video with random people saying how much they love me hahahaha. thanks to everyone for giving me the love in my life. Hahaha. Thanks. Really. Also to all the others who’ve written in my book – aiyah a lot of people la hahaha like my wonderful group - sim and Xh and charissa and jastine. Thanks for being a part of my life. =)

a moment in time.
01:29

Friday, October 27, 2006

Hahahahaha. What a day. Lol was supposed to have t42 at 9. then darkside forgot. so I spent 2 hours going around and reading Sophie’s world and meeting random teachers and trying to decide my combi. Lol and the damn tiff files are too big la. PNG pwns the lot. Then we went to FISH AND COOOOO for lunch WOOOOOO. Hahahah I LOVE the rice. Haha talked and talked and it’s scary you’re deciding your DESTINY.

Like this.

DESTINYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Then we walked around and were being amused as usual. Hahahaha then I went to the lib to get my water bottle back heh. And home sweet home. gosh I’ve watched hsm 11 times or smth. oO

a moment in time.
00:56

Thursday, October 26, 2006

OMG BEYOND COOL.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/0.999...

a moment in time.
01:01

What if I loved you?
Would the world change for you and me?

From Charissa. And some other random people.
30 Questions that are rarely asked

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Damn zit.

2. When is the next time you will have sex
FOREVER AND EVER

3. What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR”
moor! OTHELLO THE MOOR

4. Favorite planet?
Mars – I’m named after him!

5. Who is the 3rd person on your missed call list on your mobile?
It says – no numbers

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone
Me sing You’re Beautiful. DUH

7. What shirt are you wearing?
nothing!

8. Do you “label” yourself?
nope don’t thk so =S

9. Name the brand of shoes you’re currently wearing?
heh. barefoot. Nike.

10. Bright or dark room?
Brightly lit the night shone

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey?
LOL Charissa. Haha a lot of stuff. I think a lot about her HHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

12. take a break, have a kit-kat!
oO. No BEN AND JERRY’S

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
listening to michelle recite chinese. LOL

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say?
“Eh? My records say that you have 70.2…” WOOOOOO they actually found EVEN MORE marks. Thanks lang arts teachers!

15. Where is your letter box?
Near the elevator

16. What’s a word that you say a lot?
Pen. Is. No la. “HAHA”

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
Nobody. I’m unloved.

18. Last furry thing you touched?
HAHHAHA. Omg this can be SO SICK.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
4 times 3.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
16. Sweet 16. lol.

22. Your worst enemy?
myself.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
Plasma damn nice.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
to chun han – “when you become a searcher of truth, you’ll become a better person.” HAHA he called me about ki LOL.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you do?
million pounds BABY yeah.

26. Do you like someone?
haha *copies charissa*. I love God. I like everyone.

27. Are you dating them?
Haha every day is a date.

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet for them?
I would jump into spacetime and alter it. FOREVERRRRR.

29. If you could punch one person in the face who’s in your life right now, who would it be?
Myself. For taking this quiz.

30. What is the closest object to your left foot?
spacetime.

Heh. Went to school to get stuff today. So I met Mr Young then suddenly Mr Yang and Mr Ng are there too talking about signatures and sun dried raisins. And I’m like oO. Lol. Then got some rewind stuff from Mr Koh and the IP1s are having indieventure! Gosh. The good times. HAHAH sleeping at the time I wake up, going to school at the time I reach school. LOL good times. Then we talked with the teachers about our destiny and prom. And omg ms tey is still damn good at observing people. Heh. I observe people quite well too. But maybe I infer too much lol! anyway yay we went for lunch. Haha mos burger! Mmm clam chowder. Then I went to the lib and got need for speed. OMG. Stupid shid. Everytime I get the 150000 cost to state milestone the damn police finally get me with their 10 cruisers. Bah. Shall practice tomorrow.

a moment in time.
00:45

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

OMG hilarious. I love CAD.

http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20061025

a moment in time.
17:40

"Living in my own world
Didn't understand
That anything can happen
When you take a chance

I never believed in
What I couldn't see
I never opened my heart
To all the possibilities
I know that something has changed
Never felt this way
And right here tonight

This could be the start
Of something new"

Because I have to get over my obsession with familiarity.

Haha today was my mum’s birthday. And Hari Raya. So we got up late. Went to parkway at 3 and had Swensen’s together haha. Woo ice cream. Then we had more ice cream from NZ natural. Then went around. And got High School Musical for my mum. Ok it was totally random. But yeah she said I might as well get it for her cos I was gonna buy it for myself. oO. Anyway omg I love it! and Gabriella looks like Tisha! Hahah. ok random. Sigh. I love feel good movies. =) and I decided not to change my phone lol.

a moment in time.
00:34

a moment in time.
00:32

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

406,590 descendants
- you're more genetically fit than 57% of the current population -

406,590. Nice. You're no Mongol warlord, but to have that many copies of your genetic code running around 800 years from now is pretty impressive.

You're not at the top of the scoring spectrum, but, honestly, when you consider that the cheaters, swindlers, and football players of this world are statistically best-equipped to create children, scoring in the middle is something to be proud of. You have the right mixture of attributes. As you'll see below, some of your lines will die out, but your genetic material will thrive here on earth for a long time to come.

A close friend of mine created a program to generate family trees for this test. It's based on your unique answers. We accounted for sterility, birth rates, death rates, disease, drug abuse, nitwitism, and accidents and came up with this, for you. Note that you'll have significant offspring with two separate partners; the second of your genetic lines is slighly faded to make the chart easier to read. The second line could represent either a second marriage or an affair:

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on fitnessfactor

Link: The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Test written by gwendolynbooks on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

the Idiot Savant

(38% dark, 53% spontaneous, 63% vulgar)

your humor style:
VULGAR SPONTANEOUS LIGHT

You like things silly, immediate, and, above all, outrageous. Ixne on the subtle word play, more testicles on fire, please. People like you are the most likely to RECEIVE internet forwards--and also the most likely to save them in a special folder entitled 'HOLY SHIT'.

Because it's so easily appreciated, and often wacky and physical, your sense of humor never ceases to amuse your friends. Most realize that there's a sly intelligence and a knowing wink to your tastes. Your sense of humor could be called 'anti-pretentious'--but paradoxically enough, that indicates you're smarter than most.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Johnny Knoxville - Jimmy Kimmel

The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -

If you're interested, try my best friend's best test: The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Masterpiece

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on darkness

You scored higher than 99% on spontaneity

You scored higher than 99% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Anyway I want to change my phone. Nokia PC Suite has ALWAYS screwed up for me and ALWAYS pisses me off. Ever since my 6610i. And worse, Oxygen Phone Manager 2 is not fully compatible with 6280. If Nokia, Singtel and OPM don’t get back to me, I’m going down to hello at parkway to change. Sigh, I actually like this phone. It’s style is damn nice. But the features just aren’t up to standard for me. I have much higher demands than the average customer. Especially in terms of compatibility. The rest of the features are great. Especially the smsing – the keypad is SO sleek. Sigh… I’m torn apart again! Lol.

a moment in time.
02:11

Monday, October 23, 2006

96703760

I got a new phone today. Number number – 96703760. Nokia 6280. It’s not much of an upgrade from the k600i, seeing it was released the same year, but it has a 2.0 MP cam. Which is nice, especially with the zoom and flash. But there are quite a few shortcomings which are irking me now because I was quite used to the k600i.

1. No torchlight.
2. No incremental zoom when viewing photos
3. Need to get used to the keys and buttons
4. No support for .htm, .txt, .swf, .sis and other files types I was quite used to. It supports the usual stuff other people use though, like images and audio formats.
5. Browsing stuff is not as straightforward as in the k600i, especially since I customised that phone a lot.
6. My games got pwned when I installed them.

Besides that, it’s a pretty good phone, in terms of size, features, connectivity. So far so good. I kinda miss my k600i though. And I haven’t found a way of transferring the smses to this phone. So they’re stuck in the com. I miss my smses the most. Haha ah well I guess I’ll just leave them be and use a fresh inbox. Anyway, along with the phone and new plan came 50 cent and free topping vouchers for nz natural haha and paris hilton’s single “stars are blind”. Really, you must be blind to even buy her album. Or single. Or song. And a poster of her in a slutty pose too. Oh but I do love the drag and drop feature of the PC suite. Heh.

Then I updated IE to version 7 and avant browser to 11. which screwed up my internet experience. And I got technology shock. And was pissed. So I reverted back to ie6 and kept ab11. bleh. Now I’m tired. All the updating and stuff, better get started on work tomorrow. Heh NO SCHOOL. I’m sad about that though. I miss school. I miss class. =(

Stuff to do:
Rewind.
CCA records.
RM.

a moment in time.
00:42

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Thanks for the memories =)

Have you ever fought the inevitable with your weak hand? I have. I am.

I can’t leave. I can’t live. I can’t let this go.

Lol today we did rewind stuff. But half the time, actually most of the time, we were surfing friendster and looking at random crap. (Like all other projects) LOL poor nazri had to stare us eat baked rice (and ch order 2 courses siao la). Then we went to his house. Haha his computer is damn weird la. Makes some r2d2 sound. Hahahah then after we FINALLY got stuff done, we played e xbox! Lol only me and ch left haha CRIMSON SKIES! Lol and rotk. And nazri did the mass dance with Aragorn. LOL. haha and we were being totally dumb. Ah well. Then left as breaking fast was starting.

Went to town for dinner with my family. Then I finally used the ben and jerry’s vouchers Michelle Pamela Charissa Xinhui got me for my bdae. Hahaha thanks! =) I got a triple scoop waffle cone, and a tub of ny super fudge and phish food (the two flavours we used to share from 7-11) to go. haha then as we were walking away, it struck me (like a brick of gold that falls far far away) that I would never, NEVER buy a tub of ben and jerry’s and go to class to share it with random people like charissa or Xh at the sofas EVER AGAIN. Because our class will no longer be our class, and we most prob won’t have the time anyway. And it hurt inside.

I think every day from now on for quite long, I’ll definitely think about leaving the IP and the class and all the fun stuff we do, and it fills my heart with sadness and pain and it cringes like every time I feel sad. Especially since our class culture, no matter how dysfunctional, will be gone. With all the songs and names “KOGANTIIII! The black superman!”, “it’s NAzri!!”, “YANG YI!”, “ZHI QUAN!!!!” and *parrot voice thing* “maaark”, and all the talk about inverted cotangents and asking questions and random outbursts about stuff like life, truth, love, destiny. This is no less than a legacy that we are about to leave behind.

Maybe I’m not so strong after all.

"...But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had"

a moment in time.
00:31

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Special assembly was quite brilliant. Haha auld lang syne! The song about mrs chan going west was so nice! And cute and funny. Lol haha great job teachers! The performances were nice too haha. And never before have I seen a school with so much spirit and attitude and atmosphere. Only VJC’s like that. I hope it’ll remain this way even when mrs chan leaves. Haha then we went back to class. And it was our last day in t23. our beloved home. The sofa, the class comm, the lounge. All gone. As we cleaned up, I came by many of the old stuff, all the memories. And we threw them all away. Ah well. We got a class photo! Which is still with Daniel. I’ll upload it on class blog once I have it. Haha I’m really gonna miss all those times. =( sigh…

Anyway I spent the day editing photoshoot photos, and discussing my religion essay at Bakery Depot because Mr Koh doesn’t have lunch in school. So I got treated to Bakery Depot. Gosh that place sells GOOD food. Thanks for the treat! And the last part of the day was spent with the remnants of IP2s taking photos and playing bomberman and street soccer and taking more photos! Woo! I’m feeling quite weird here. I’m both upset and happy. Bleh. Gosh it’s damn late. 2:15. wth am I doing oO

a moment in time.
02:21

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Today was rather amusing. In the morning, we forgot to go for assembly. Or rather, we din’t know we had to. After that was the briefings for next year, and the last bio lesson, and subsequently, the return of the darkside scripts. Amusing cos I managed an A1 for bio despite writing about the “divine power of green light that brings life to plants” and “not drinking chemicals in the lab” as a safety precaution. Lol. AHH I missed A1 for lang arts overall by 0.1 bleh I hope the teachers can find a legitimate reason for giving me 0.1 more. Blehness la. I’m pwned for lang arts. Not even in top 10 anymore. sigh.

So anyway, this is clearly the beginning of the end. Today was the last day of proper lessons. And as with most days approaching farewells, I’m feeling torn. One side of me wants so so so badly to relive the memories I’ve had this year, the other wants to move on, to seek new grounds and make new friends and experience a new world. I’ve clearly been inclined to the former before these 2 years. Now, maybe, I’m more mature, most probably because I’ve come to terms with the inevitable moving on. Ironically, the feeling of being torn apart is much much stronger. Especially since now, I’ve come to realise that no matter how much you try to stay together, to keep in touch, it’s just not the same. It’s inevitable that some promises be broken.

And although we might all drift apart, and go our separate ways, each and every one of you 119 IP2s of year 2006, the 29 from my class, and the really great friends I’ve made these 2 years, and the really really great friends still by my side in spite of these 2 years, will be in my heart. I’ll be there when you need me, so just call, msn, sms. I’m here. Always here. =)

Tomorrow’s the last day we’re gonna be together as a whole class in our classroom. (So yeah I called Ms Low this afternoon for a final class photo to be taken tomorrow). I’ll miss the sofa(s), the lounge, the times playing cards and Halo on our beloved (albeit overheating and lagging) class com, taking random photos, and especially the fact that in spite of so many differences, we’ve gotten this far.

I’m not sure how I’ve been able to take this parting without tears so far, despite it being one of my most dreaded moments. The tears will come. Possibly tomorrow. Lol. For now, I’ll just go see what dreams heaven has to offer me. Then tomorrow I’ll wake up, it’ll all happen so fast just like the 2 years, and it’ll be over. Then I’ll begin to move on, hopefully, in the full knowledge that I regret nothing, including my mistakes, that has happened to me in the past 2 years. I guess I’ll still have those memories with me everywhere I go. If not, I’ll just turn back for old times’ sake, and go through the… 8500+ photos I have of the times we spent together.

Please help me get through this. AHH. So torn apart. SO SO SO torn apart. I can’t let this go so easily…

a moment in time.
23:22

http://www.world-mysteries.com/sar_7.htm

Reading the whole of that, it seems that there’s a lot of the world we can’t explain. Ancient Indian texts detailing how to build and how aircraft (vimana), nuclear bombs, homing missiles, anti-gravity, and ion engines were used millennia ago. It’s cool and freaky at the same time. It’s somewhat in line with the Ancient Astronaut Theory, but maybe not. It corresponds more to the Nine Unknown Men story of how India possessed technology more advanced than what we have today and how Emperor Asoka formed the secret society of 9 men to preserve the knowledge and not let those who wanted the technology to wage war acquire the knowledge. And there’s evidence. It’s quite mindblowing.

Some quotes from the Indian texts about what seem to be

Mercury-ion engines that NASA are trying to build: “iron machines, well-knit and smooth, with a charge of mercury that shot out of the back in the form of a roaring flame”

Aircraft: “Bhima flew along in his car, resplendent as the sun and loud as thunder... The flying chariot shone like a flame in the night sky of summer ... it swept by like a comet... It was as if two suns were shining. Then the chariot rose up and all the heaven brightened”

Aerial Transportation like we have today, between cities: “An aerial chariot, the Pushpaka, conveys many people to the capital of Ayodhya. The sky is full of stupendous flying-machines, dark as night, but picked out by lights with a yellowish glare”

Nuclear weapons:

“...(the weapon was) a single projectile
charged with all the power of the Universe.
An incandescent column of smoke and flame
As bright as the thousand suns rose in all its splendor...

An iron thunderbolt,
A gigantic messenger of death,
Which reduced to ashes
The entire race of the Vrishnis
And the Andhakas.

... the corpses were so burned
As to be unrecognizable.
The hair and nails fell out;
Pottery broke without apparent cause,
And the birds turned white.

... After a few hours
All foodstuffs were infected...
... to escape from this fire
The soldiers threw themselves in streams
To wash themselves and their equipment...”

Note: It very accurately describes what an atomic explosion would look like and the effects of the radioactivity on the population. Jumping into water is the only respite from nuclear radiation.

Nuclear bombers: “Gurkha flying in his swift and powerful Vimana hurled against the three cities of the Vrishis and Andhakas a single projectile charged with all the power of the Universe. An incandescent column of smoke and fire, as brilliant as ten thousands suns, rose in all its splendour. It was the unknown weapon, the Iron Thunderbolt, a gigantic messaenger of death which reduced to ashes the entire race of the Vrishnis and Andhakas.”

How to build and use aircraft: “Strong and durable must the body of the Vimana be made, like a great flying bird of light material. Inside one must put the mercury engine with its iron heating apparatus underneath. By means of the power latent in the mecrcury which sets the driving whirlwind in motion, a man sitting inside may travel a great distance in the sky. The movements of the Vimana are such that it can vertically ascend, vertically descend, move slanting forwards and backwards. With the help of the machines human beings can fly in the air and heavenly beings can come down to earth.”

Guided missiles: “I quickly laid on an arrow, which killed by seeking out sound”

Laser: “When switched on, it produced a 'shaft of light' which, when focused on any target, immediately 'consumed it with its power'.”

It’s damn cool.

So today the goodbyes began. Yesterday Ms Tey (Mrs Cheng) told us that she was leaving for MOE. Today Mrs Chan informed the whole IP of Koh’s leaving VJC for even higher education. It’s sad… Mrs Chan and Mr Koh interviewed me during the intake. Now they’re leaving. And Mr Koh and Ms Tey were two of the best teachers I’ve had, and Mr Koh a great mentor, and Mrs Chan the best principal I’ve ever had. The school culture will be different without them, because they are like… well, crucial elements in the school culture. The relaxed atmosphere, the strong school spirit, the smirking and crazy crazy stuff darkside tells us… and lots more. Thank you for teaching me, all the best in whatever you three aim to achieve as you sets your sights on something different. =)

Today was really like a day preparing for the end of the year. Mr Koh gave us a farewell during lang arts, with truffle cake included. Then we applauded each teacher as they walked out of the class after our final lesson with them, waving goodbye and bidding farewell, sometimes taking photos. We walked out of v28 knowing that it was the last Chinese lesson of the year, an awkward mix of sadness and joy. All the craziness and spontaneity in that class. And after that we sorted out prom stuff as well. All the “last time we’ll see each other” kind of stuff the whole day.

Goodbyes are always sad, for me at least. And the emotion is finally settling in. But this year, I’ve learnt that everything changes, nothing stays the same, so everyone has to move on, and eventually we will, hopefully to better things. I hope for myself that I will be able to get through this change and accept it with emotional strength. So we’ll probably end up with tears in our ends, photos of red-eyed faces, hugs, goodbyes, keep in touch’s, and perhaps just a deep pain in our hearts as we end off the year. Yet we will wipe those tears away, we’ll be strong, and move on, with the memories of the times we spent in the IP. Thank you, to all the my classmates, the friends I’ve made in the IP, my teachers and the people I’ve gotten to know in these 2 years – thank you for the memories. It's been the craziest, funnest, most spontaneous and random 2 years of my life - the best years of my life so far. I've learnt so much, not just in education, but about the world, about truth (hurhur), about myself, about what I should be, and other stuff like being random is essential for happiness. Thanks. You’ll always be in my heart. All of you. Thank you. =)

a moment in time.
01:07

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

He faced the audience. The blinding spotlights erased all the faces, yet as he turned, from the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of a ghost from his past. A familiar, yet strangely cold figure, a face so kind yet so painful to remember, so lovely, so beautiful, yet cutting, slashing away at the heartstrings. He froze in his steps, amidst the applause. His thoughts drowned out the ovation. He forced himself to tear his gaze away from that figure, and as he took his final steps from the stage, he took one last look over his shoulder, and his memories, just like that figure, had vanished. How far would he go for love?

I never felt so weak before. I’ve been sick before, of course, but now I’m not even been destroyed by a virus or something, it’s just frickin dust and haze and I’m suddenly thrown into this state. Never thought I’d be so affected. It could be worse I guess, I’m pretty much normal, just that breathing takes effort, and I can only talk for a second or so without feeling like coughing. And the feeling is like you’re about to cough but you can’t and you just jerk forward. Wth la. I can’t stand this fking haze anymore. We went out to pp just now, and when we were crossing the overheard bridge at parkway there, I couldn’t breathe properly and felt lightheaded. Wah. So I decided that I had to go to the doctor. Who told me I hadn’t been there since I got shingles March last year. I usually don’t see the doctor for a year plus. Bah. I hope this medicine works quickly. I’m not gonna waste my last term in the VIP on some shit haze. Anyway other than the haze, today was... fine. I don’t know what else to expect.

Today was the last episode of Little Britain. And the way they ended off all the sketches was classic comedy. Sigh, another good show gone. They’re showing The Office next. Don’t really like it. Hmm I’m hoping they show Monty Python or one of those classic Art Central comedies we used to watch in SHPS and DHS. I forgot most of the names. I think Nicole might still remember. I LOVE sketch shows. Woo. Love comedies!

a moment in time.
23:53

Monday, October 16, 2006

The music from 1:00 to 1:30 and 2:40 to 3:20 and 4:20 to 4:30 in BoA’s Everlasting is just amazing, especially the first 10 seconds. As in it’s probably clichéd or heard too many times somewhere. Just somewhere, but you can’t pinpoint it because this song is an amazing one, but just that part, gets to my heart. 3 beats of decreasing or similar notes surrounded by an ocean of emotional half-tunes, leveling up to crescendo to another downturn. Woah. It’s the kind of music you hear when the guy makes the decision to walk away and not turn back, or the girl is running after the guy but he’s already gone. And it’s strong music, yet emotional. Hmm. I think Michelle sent me this song. Thanks. =)

"The door is open wide is anybody there?
I know this must be the room in your heart
I really don't know why but it's so easy to breathe
I know this must be the room in your heart"

And so the first day of results wasn’t spectacular. What else can I say? Disappointing. Not utterly shocking. But well… just not up to standard. And so I have to face the consequences of the choices I make. This being the final finals with transcript and all.

"Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control, fly."

When I decide, I stand by my decisions, no matter what happens. I just hope that eventually everything will be fine. There’s so many paths to follow, I hope I’ve walked down the right one.

"So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me"

No fear. No regrets. No spilled milk.

And that's the way =)

a moment in time.
23:36

Figured today that I have visited 3 out of the Big Four. New York’s the only one left! Woo. And the best out of all four! The capital of the world. Yeah man. Haha browsed through photos of when I was younger. As in real photos. On film – 4R. So cos of the haze, I stayed at home today. And read Job. And the last three chapters are cool. Puts everything into perspective. Hmm… next week seems… busy, yet not busy. Sigh. I wanna travel. I want another school overseas trip! Then I can travel with friends again. Bleh I’m dreaming. Ah well.

What if the VIP was a government experiment to determine how conservative Singaporeans really are? They put us, at the most impressionable age, into a system baited with the attractiveness of not taking o-levels, only to face conservative SS and liberal Lang Arts! Omg I’m going mad. Bleh. Ok I just took panadol. I’m starting to feel sleepy.

a moment in time.
00:00

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Heh. Open house. Was bored la. Went around and around and around. After the pirate fight thing. Lol. After open house, went to parkway for ICE CREAM =) WOO! I love ice cream. Love. Gelato! Hmm... but food hasn't tasted as nice for the past few days. Like today's dinner, which was a Delifrance set takeaway. Usually I adore the seafood croissant. But today the taste didn't linger, it just... went. Like a snowflake melting. Sigh. Haha but it was still nice I guess. Now pretty bored. And tired. *yawns*

a moment in time.
23:17

It’s pretty late (1:01am!) and I better go sleep soon. Lol. Today was pretty emotionally charged. The farewell assembly. Where I felt like I was in limbo – on one hand, I had been in VJC for 2 years, and I was leaving the VIP, on the other, I have 2 more years here. It felt… weird. To see all the memories and to know that there’ll be more to come. Haha anyway the performances were good. But the best part was Aquila (finally) coming in first place. WOO we beat ursa! Yeah man. Then shockers (which I haven’t heard yet) like Mrs Chan leaving, possibly the best principal I knew and the best principal this school has had yet, as well as rumours of various IP teachers leaving. So yeah, we were all like “omg, everything we knew to be true is falling apart”. Ohh modernism.

Things fall apart;
The centre cannot hold.

WOO. So yeah, to those teachers leaving us, (maybe you guys still read this blog), please reconsider! And if you do leave, all the best and please come back! =) I guess we’ll have our farewell in time. It struck me that I might not be in Aquila next year. No more blue birds, eagles, screaming, the cheers. Heh. emotional farewells. We’ll have ours.

Currently my sights are set on editing my religion essay, editing the RM and turning it into a poster (however weird that might be – an essay to a poster?!), and some class projects of my own, and some projects of my own (PHOTOBOOK! Woo, and random other stuff like taking as many photos as I can. Ah well. The rest of the day was spent chionging around for drama and practicing and choreographing a pirate fight in one day. Woo. Then home. Where I indulge in my misery of having a sore throat and not being able to rock the block with tunes from the 60’s.

a moment in time.
01:05

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Why can’t I explain these emotions?
Why do they keep haunting me?

So today was utterly boring. BAH. I couldn’t play floorball after drama. So I was damn sian. And went to the lib for quite long. And borrowed some books on quantum theory, psychology, some sciences thing, NEW YORK NEW YORK. WOOOO I wanna go to new york! I wanna see a BIG city. Like new york. Yeah. I wanna TRAVEL THE WORLD. Ok I’m real bored. Bah. AHH. I can’t wait for open house to be over. The school’s screwing us over and over. Lol. ah well. I still love vj. =) Yay. Photos!

Ok. Stupid Blogger isn't loading. Bah.

a moment in time.
23:39

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

There's no comfort in the truth
Pain is all the hope you'll find.

The greater the hope you have
The greater the disappointment you'll face.

Are you afraid of infatuation?

I still am.

Got cooped up in here for the whole day. Cos of the haze and the haze's effect on me. Still not feeling well. Bleh. And I've got so much work even after exams. Bah. No rest de. Ah well.

I told you so.

a moment in time.
23:42

So it’s all over. And I’d feel elated if I didn’t feel so… uncomfortable. =S It’s the damned haze. Finally taking its toll on me. So anyway YAY exams are over. And thanks for all those people who kept encouraging me throughout the whole time! =) Thanks so much. Haha. So now we tensely await our results. Heh, but who cares, I’ve got a lot of other stuff on my mind.

So yeah, after physics, hung around in class, then we got off to SUNTEC CITY. Haven’t stepped there for too long… hahahaha and we ate at MARCHE. Woo. The carrot/pumpkin soup was real good, but the chicken leg thing was crap. Tasted like it was full of chemicals. The sauce was not bad though. Mango pudding was good for one made out of powder. The salmon sashimi was tainted by a lack of ice, and could have been fresher. So I guess we were paying more for the brand and atmosphere than the food lol

Then some random shopping including a point when I discovered to my utter horror that I had left my phone unlocked and like 20 smses got deleted and I was upset. Lol. Then I figured when I get a new phone it’s all gonna be gone anyway. But I din’t have records for those I received recently. =( So I don’t know what people sent me yesterday and all the important drama-sc stuff today. Sigh. Haha resend me any recent smses if you’re bored enough! Heh. hahaha we had dessert at Swensen’s, courtesy of jastine. Oh! And I look at new phones! So I’m thinking either the black chocolate, the “limited edition” white chocolate, or the Mobile Card. Hmm. Michelle’s phone seems to work pretty well. And has most of the features I need. The photo quality is not bad even when she din’t set it to highest reso. So should be ok. I’m still deciding lol. Haha any recommendations, please tag!

We took 36 to Cine. And ended up watching Scoop. And I was like empty handed =S no popcorn or drinks. Lol. Too lazy to explain. Wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scoop_(2006_film) After the movie, shopped around at Wisma and had yakitori bento for dinner! MMM. As well as a single scoop of Haagen Dazs coconut ice cream with patisserie. Yay. then went around with laura and michelle and went home. Yay. Fun day =) SUPER HAPPY now but don’t feel too well. Sigh.

a moment in time.
00:52

Monday, October 09, 2006

Gosh. Today, I got stressed for the first time. Well it's kinda too late eh? Biology was a damned rollercoaster, which plunged me down into the darkness of the abyss of Question 3. ARGHHH. But yeah, gotta leave it behind. I can't believe I got a headache from studying Physics. Damn weird la. I shall go rest soon. I feel really tired today tho I slept in e afternoon. Argh. I think it's the pressure and shock of not having completed Q3 when I could have, instead letting my convicton of logic take over me and render my thought processes useless. Bleh. Or perhaps it's the delayed hangover from yesterday. =S Anyway, jia you people! Last day!

a moment in time.
23:26

Haha weddings are nice! Haha my cousin and his wife looked stunning la! And the weird place at Kranji wasn't that bad after all. Especially since the haze subsided. Haha miracles. And omg the cocktail was held in this showroom thing, which showcased all their wedding photos (which cost $4000 for the package to travel to JB and take photos there, but it was so worth it cos it turned out beautiful), their old photos, and the photos we took this morn. Hahaha and I feel a hangover coming on. AHH must drink water. Bah. Shid I should stay off the wine especially when there's exams the next day. Bleh. But omg nice la. Hahahahaha yay jia you people! Just TWO days more. 2 2 2.

a moment in time.
00:02

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Sometimes I feel like I’ve lost too much in life.
But I have gained more than I have lost.
And that’s what makes life worth living.
You get over your selfish pride, and get on with life.
Every day’s a better day.
That where you’ll find your happiness.

Bah. Haze reached 130 when I woke up, and 150 just now when I was watching O. now it’s 140. sigh. Doesn’t look like it’ll lift by tomorrow. Blehness la.

a moment in time.
00:01

Friday, October 06, 2006

Gosh. Indonesia, please save us. No more. No more! =( Gosh. I awoke from my nap just now and I looked out the window and suddenly there was this layer of think weird stuff in the sky. Which is haze duh. Now everything's all fuzzy and dusty and stinky and I hate it.

FIRETRUCK!

And to add to the unhealthy air, there was a fire below my block just now. Probably cos of burning laterns as is my block and the opposite block's tradition of making a circle chain of matches around the playground and lighting them. Haha I miss those days when I would join them. (As in when I was young). Oh I totally forgot about mooncake fest today! Hahaha usually we have a celebration at the "old house". And have lots of mooncake and random food. But this year, there was no news of one possible because

a) THE DAMNED HAZE.
b) my cousin is having his wedding in 2 days time.

And omg. How are we gonna survive his wedding in some random GARDEN (OPEN AIR!) in Kranji! I hope the haze isn't that bad in Kranji. Or maybe we'll have air purifiers. I wish I had one now. The air STINKS and I can't breathe properly and this should be a good excuse to postpone bio exams! (Especially since I feel like the exams are over and totally don't feel like studying anymore)

a moment in time.
22:56

You've read about it in two years of SS tests. Now take action.

http://www.savedarfur.org/

a moment in time.
13:14

Thursday, October 05, 2006

LOL. So after just now, I went to sleep. Hooray. Then I was woken up by a flurry of smses at 530. Which suddenly came in one lot. I think M1 sucks. Argh. Singtel after exams! Woo! And I think a new phone as well. Haha. So anyway, I smsed darkside earlier to ask if I could have my easy listening lounge music album back.

"Oh, I threw away the CD - it is essential that as part of your music education & personal development, you be exposed to better music & less Kenny G-lite."

RIGHT. And I made such a spectacular comeback that he hasn't replied yet, or maybe M1 screwed my sms up the ass again. Something along the lines of

"Now I can indulge in the world of boybands and bubblegum tween pop. I need not care about my development since we live in a postmodern world."

oO

And tomorrow's the last exam of the week! After that will be a mid-exam break, my cousin's wedding at some garden in Kranji, then BIO (omgoodness damnedddd bio!!! ahhh!) and physics then HEAVEN. Or purgatory. Then the cycle repeats.

"We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game"

And damnit la. Blardy haze is getting worse and worse. When will Indonesia stop destroying the Malay Archipelago? ARGH. I can't even see Temasek Poly from my window now. Lol. How are we expected to complete the exams or even go to school or go out after exams in this weather! How can we put our faith in induction!

a moment in time.
23:34

The past is catching up.

Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
Do mice and men have second tries?
We've got stars directing our fate
Please keep the faith

You Are Extremely Thin

Your BMI is 16.7 - a healthy BMI falls between 18.5 and 25

You definitely don't need to lose weight.
In fact, you need to gain some weight to ensure you're healthy.
So go ahead and pig out!

Don't agree? Blame the government standards we based this test on!

Do You Need to Lose Weight?

LOL. Actually, I’m too fat. I just gained weight again. Aargh. And yay. Chem over. 2.5 subjects and 5 papers left!

A real life, depicted in song.

a moment in time.
14:56

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Haha so I guess most of us survived today. And perhaps we can say that the worst is over. Yet, I'm still mugging till 11:30, still fatigued, sick of all this crap and the education system not just of Singapore, but the whole damned world, where everything IS competition and if you don't play it well, you lose. Simple as that. But ah well. I'm fearing bio though. My bio has totally weakened and I survived on assignments last year to get me through. Ahh. Haha I was looking through soem IP1 CA2 stuff and I remember the 3 streaks I got. Wah damn nice la. This year only got one top mark bleh. STREAKS leh. wahh. I miss those more carefree days. Ah well. 8 down, 7 to go. Here we go again and again.

we looked at each other and smiled and she gave a small wave and was whisked away by the crowd

a moment in time.
23:50

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

heh. tomorrow's more or less the turning point. the halfway mark, the climax with two intensive subjects, and the only day with 2 subjects. heh. ok i should go sleep. ahh i din't study any ss today! bleh. but i did complete my notes for this year's math! the only subject i made notes for lol.

a moment in time.
23:12

Monday, October 02, 2006

SONG AH. PSI 70+. ARGH. damn indons.

Tomorrow's the first mugging-intensive subject. From tomorrow on, it's gonna be mugging-intensive all the way to the end. END END END. WOOO. Jia you people. And I have this great excuse of going online - the best way to understand postmodernism is to experience it.

a moment in time.
23:49

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Gosh the haze is really damned bad. My dad opened the door for less than a minute and it smelled like smoke. The psi in my area is close to 50. which is pretty bad by Singapore standards. And the haze is making Tampines look like an American town going into winter. The visibility is… hazy. oO it’s making bedok reservoir looked like the blue misty mountains in the windows xp wallpaper. Seriously. And things beyond 100m look blurry liao. Shid la. Bad time to have exams.

a moment in time.
21:46

Gosh I really miss London. I wish we could have been there forever! And move my whole world and plant it there. Sigh...

Tell me your truth

Wow. I was looking through photos and I realised almost 1/3 of the people photos are not taken by me =S And this shows I'm not a stalker! (Although I'm not clear of the relation) And YES I AM studying. I'm just... taking a break. MMMM mooncakes! Oh... I wanna go to NYC!

YAY. My parents acceded to my urges and yearnings for mooncakes. And damn are these things expensive. But gosh. I loved being rip-offed don't I? So they got the Bengawan Solo ones. My faves as well - white and gren snow-skin with either lotus or green tea fillings with yolks. MM.

a moment in time.
16:31