_colour my life_ my monologue

Monday, July 31, 2006

You Have Your Sarcastic Moments

While you're not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge.
In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead!
And although you do have your genuine moments, you can't help getting your zingers in.
Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it's more likely they think you're hilarious.

How Sarcastic Are You?

You once told me that not everyone wants the truth. You’re one of them. I’m afraid to let you know. It would destroy us. It would take us down a path we can’t follow. A place we cannot go. Do you want to know? I don’t know what to do.

Hmm. Quite ok la today. I’m scared abt my compre tmr tho. I left 4 qns blank. Ahh. So I have to rush my compo tmr. Quite confident in my math quiz. I think I passed. Yay. then the rest of the day was ok.. stayed till 530 playing bridge and slime. Lol.

Happy birthday jovena =)

a moment in time.
21:10

Sunday, July 30, 2006

"Strumming my pain with your fingers
Singing my life with your words
Killing me softly with your song"

a moment in time.
23:55

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUNICE! =)

a moment in time.
21:40

Saturday, July 29, 2006

You Are 72% Bipolar

You're more than moody - you're a bit unstable.
If your mood swings are effecting your life, you may need to seek help.

Are You Bipolar?

I didn’t use to be so “bipolar” =S

College day was quite boring. But we stayed awake. The concert was great. Haha and hearing all the achievements, esp the overachievers, was quite amazing. And makes me wonder if I’ll ever be on that stage. Ohh the concert was nice. Haha. vjchoir is sooo good. They sounds like the holy holy angels singing thing. Just like heaven. Haha I love choirs. And acapella. They make the most beautiful music, cos it’s straight from the soul. Ohh but the interracial percussion was good. And band too! Haha I like Carmen. I think it’s called Carmen. Must be e one Xh was talking abt. Then I wanted to go out. But in the end went home alone. Seem to be doing that a lot nowadays =S

a moment in time.
22:42

Friday, July 28, 2006

Not in the mood for blogging. Today’s the last day of the last helmsman week. One of the precursors to the end of our stint in the ip. Haha. went out after school for lunch. And we talked. And w daryl and zh there, the conversation steered, as usual, to conservative vs liberal. Lol. or smth like that. They thought up of the sickest sexual acts and debated whether it was right or wrong. Lol. then I went home alone after roaming around pp alone.

And yeah. my dad forgot plain bread. So I ended up having a banana-hamandcheese sandwich. Bleh.

a moment in time.
23:52

Thursday, July 27, 2006

"day after day time pass away
and I just can't get you off my mind
nobody knows I hide it inside
I keep on searching but i can't find

the courage to show to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
and once again I'm thinkin' about
takin' the easy way out

but if I let you go
I will never know
what my life would be
holding you close to me
will I ever see you smiling back at me
oh yeah how will I know
if I let you go"

a moment in time.
23:00

Haha today was quite cool yeah. so we got to see what the others saw in the US and OZ trips. But we din’t get to see the oz vid… haha. then it was the ne quiz. I failed my nation. 405000. arghhh. Omgosh la. And the 2nd time I played I was so close to completing and getting master. 9 basic questions left! And mr yang was like “ok someone quit the game, someone pull mark out of his chair” ahhh. i was like NOOOO. So close. I built all the best. Grr.

We visited activate international @ harbourfront. It’s a Singaporean game company. Quite a small company. Really small actually. And I guess the Singaporean game industry is still super small. We’re still on java games, mobile games, mmorpgs. The day a Singaporean company develops a successful FPS will be the milestone of our progress. Had lunch at mcd, then to cine.

E2max is… ok la. It’s too pricey. And they focus a lot on keeping it safe and trustworthy. And like a kinda lack of privacy in the private rooms yeah. but the comps make up for that I guess. We played cs. Haha I guess without all the practice, I’m still not that bad. Especially with a mp5. hmm the aug used to be my forte. But now it’s the smgs. LOL. went windowshopping w nic kog sean. And met zh. Haha then lib. And went to white sands w nic. Then home. Lalala.

And my dad bought ham and cheese! So I’ll make a ham and cheese sandwich for myself tmr =)

And yeah. I’m pwning need for speed. WOOO.

I'm holding on, but...

a moment in time.
21:46

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

a moment in time.
23:34

Gosh. Need for speed is pwnage. Woo. I’m like racing up the blacklist. And my gta skilz are useful when evading cops. And I love the sound of the engine revving up. And I’m pro at sprints. Woo. Love the car. I got blacklist#14’s car. But i modded my original model and I have this attachment to it hahaha. Woo. I’m waiting for the next nitro upgrade. And engine upgrade. In all racing games, I believe in upgrading top speed. Even pod racing. Haha I love sprints. I think I’ll be a reckless speeding driver next time.

Some jumps!

Oh I should have screenshotted the slides and drifts. Woah.

Today was boring. I found out I was a winter person. Some say a bit autumn. But I exude coolness of doom. Heh. Then the rest was pretty boring except self-discovery. I’m artistic-social, more artistic. But pilot doesn’t come under that. Sigh.

Ohhh. Prom. Yayness.

Woo need for speed.

Shid I think I’m addicted.

Someone told me I’d get addicted. Was it naz? Bah. Shid. It’s even worse than my cs/bf2/gta addiction. Ok maybe not bf2. but like I just played for 4 hours straight. It’s the pwnage and speed that traps you. Woo.

a moment in time.
22:55

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Well. Today was fine I guess. Oh today’s pearls before swine is so cute! But I don’t really like pearls. But this strip makes you go awww…

Anyway. Today was quite fun. Gosh I’m singing boyband songs now. Yay I love my microphone. Hahahahahha. Anyway, yeah. so it was first hip hop. Quite cool la. Haha takes training. But fun! And cool. Especially the wave! Omgosh I can finally do it the proper way. Altho not that good. But like yeah WAVE!

And yeah, sorry I blew up at you guys. It’s not about what you all said la. It’s just that a lot of other stuff has happened. I’m not such a sore loser, and I know it’s not serious la. So yeah sorry.

Then muay thai. Wah no one wants to partner ch liao lor. Hit so hard de. And the guy told him to punch softly. Oh but the games were fun! Haha. and great exercise too. And nice moves. Now I know how to kick properly. And stop losing my balance. Haha. then it was self-discovery. Hmmm. Eh the system is cool. The card thing. I found that I’m super inclined towards creativity. And the arts. I love drawing and writing and singing and thinking! Yay.

Then SMU. It’s a great campus. Has an MRT station on-site (by the time the guys enter) and a shopping mall. Airy spaces. Windy. Then the system quite good also. Max 40 a class, interactive. But the subjects… I don’t like business/management. And I dunno if the social sci there is good. Ah well. Then we signed up for some xbox promo competition. Game on, they call it. Got pwned in project gotham racing cos the blardy car kept swerving. And got an xbox sling bag. The mutt kind. Lol.

dinner@raffles city. Then went to swissotel. And we saw charissa! Hahahah omg she looked so… hmm… elegant. Haha. omgosh I think girls look really nice in gowns. And guys in suits. Omgosh we must have a formal prom! Ahh. Then we (being me, naz, jastine, louis) talked abt prom all the way back. The whole ip will be in for some surprises ahahaha. And naz got me to go to the bubble tea shop. Woo almond oreo w nata! Haha. And hungry ghost fest has started. But who cares. Yayyy prom.

a moment in time.
22:52

Monday, July 24, 2006

"
“When you come back, I won't be here.”
She said and gently pulled me near
“If you wanna talk, you can call
And, no, it's not your fault.”

I just smiled and said “Let go of me,
Now, there's something I just gotta know
Did someone else steal my part?”
She said it's not my fault

Then my heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too
" - Siberia - BSB

You Are Big Bird

Talented, smart, and friendly... you're also one of the sanest people around.

You are usually feeling: Happy. From riding a unicycle to writing poetry, you have plenty of hobbies to keep you busy.

You are famous for: Being a friend to everyone. Even the grumpiest person gets along with you.

How you life your life: Joyfully. "Super. Duper. Flooper."

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

a moment in time.
23:28

I got battle of Britain 2 wings of victory today. I was quite disappointed, especially since a) this game was released this year, b) it got 80+% reviews from all the top pc game review. Clearly the flight sim’s golden age has long passed, and this new generation of reviewers don’t know what the good old days were like. It’s worse than WWII fighters and that was ’98. ah well. The scale of the battles are huge though. Just masses of ju-88s and spitfires and 109s. woah. Some screenshots:

I just realised I haven’t gotten gta:sa. ARGHHHH. PLEASE GET IT FOR ME SOMEONE. OR LEND ME. OR SOMETHING. I’ll pay full price. Yes, I’m this desperate.

Haha today was great lah =) as in the activities. Other factors not so good. Hahahaha. Anyway, yeah. stress 101! Lol quite cool. BUT I KEPT GETTING SABOED =((( lol. it was like a basic combination of the other sessions. Ginger tea, music, stretching, self-massage (AHAHA) and others. Then tea appreciation! Omgosh so cool. Haha park royal is quite a nice hotel. But can’t beat Marriott or Oriental (OMGOSH lang arts.) but still, nice setting! Haha. I feel like designing a hotel one day. And it would have lots of water features and amazing bathrooms so people can go to them after listening to the water. And nice green leaves. And it would be very moden. Glass and metal. My style. Haha.

Anyway. Tea! Mmm. I like the bitter taste. It cleanses away all other tastes. It’s like how pain cleanses away all other emotions and feelings. Hmm. Then yay. tea. And food. Haha Sichuan food is nice. Dumplings, buns, porridge… yum. Then they kept giving me tea. Argh. I went to the restroom 6 times. Wth la. Ok nvm. But yay. tea. Then the weird talk. Sian. Lol. I don’t believe in others telling me what to do unless I’m looking for advice.

But I was wondering if I was going to lay down all I love to do to pursue aeronautical engineering to be a pilot. Then I went to RSAF’s site and they say there’s no specific degree. You just need a degree or diploma. They even accept o levels. But I think a degree would be better. On paper and to show. AHA. So yeah, I’m thinking of taking up philosophy. Of course, not much link to piloting. But I like that. Or maybe design. Or geog. Or smth along the lines of maps. Haha. cartography! Coolness.

I decided this week, I’ll do everything I wanted to do but couldn’t cos of the exams. I got a premium lib membership today. That means 16 books for me at any one times, including 4 av. I think borrowing period is extended to 4 weeks as well. So I borrowed a lot of books today. One about love, one about philo, one rm book, and so on. Haha.

Can’t you see me?
Here I am.

a moment in time.
21:51

i just finished the bio online learning package.

and it's damn late.

ah well.

http://web.vjc.moe.edu.sg/students/v05v13_hengsxm/bio/

SURPRISE TEST TOMORROW!!!!!!

lol.

nite ppl.

a moment in time.
01:24

Saturday, July 22, 2006

"Love has never been good to me
Maybe it's just my destiny
To live my life alone
Who was I trying to fool
Thinking our love would break the rule
Still I'm standing on my own
And even though you look so good tonight
I'll be fine

But I know that for you
To be here without me by your side
It's a love crime
Why you act so surprised
I can tell from the guilt in your eyes
It's a love crime to me"

You Are 44% Brutally Honest

Honesty is important to you, but generally, you try not to be brutal about it.
You'll sugar coat the truth when you need to... and tell a white lie when necessary.

How Brutally Honest Are You?

Like I said, busy day. So woke up at 7, and my dad brought the whole team to RJC. Then practiced. I only memorised my script half an hour before the presentation. Lol. and we touched up the ppt, practiced more. Then it began. Cathigh first. Omgosh I snigger at bad English lol. ok nvm. Then our turn. Hahahah we were so damn smooth and sleek they called us scary. WOO. =) and it was nice. Our ppt was actually just like… our outline from yesterday. And I designed it! I have thus found my new ppt style! Night photos or photos with silhouettes, and white text in the black spaces. Haha.

lunch! Mmm éclairs and cream puffs! And then final round. I thought we din’t get in. cos their criteria seemed not to favour our formal, smooth, sleek, content-rich, powerful style. All the questions the judges and floor asked were easily answered by reiterating our points lol. they couldn’t ask us questions that brought us down! So we were 3rd in place for the prelims. Then the quiz round.

GOSH. Blardy effed up shid. Ok we made some mistakes in choices in the first round. By choosing local affairs, which was terrible. General knowledge was better. Lol. then the race. WTH LA. We got all the damn tough questions. The blardy blardy effed up de. And it seemed like the whole thing was rigged cos most of the rgs questions I (and us) could answer. But I must applaud THAT guy from SJI. The one whose friends said he ate encyclopedias and he had an amazing memory and he was the one who got sji to where they were.

In the last few questions, it was getting really draggy and everyone wanted out liao. So we played crazily. AHAHA. I answered “tan yi ming” for some politician LOL and random names like “jack nicholson” or smth liddat for jack the ripper “John Sullivan” and shouted random Chinese names hahaha.

Then the best part. They asked something along the lines of which Pentium processor overheats a lot. Then we were discussing. And Pentium 4 kept creeping up cos OUR CLASS COM overheats at 51 degs EVERYDAY. But I had no faith in gut feeling. Sorry team for saying Pentium 2. and it was Pentium 4. wth. Ah well. So in the end, we got 4th. Final results: HCI, SJI, RGS, VIP. Hahaha. But quite fun la. Shouting random names like “mah bow tan” and “karl marx” lol. and we still got a trophy! =) and it’s SHINY

Then rushed off to do RM w laura and michelle. Ohh I’m gonna look at the sch mag section one day. Haha. yay found even more books! Then did till 7. then pam came and we did SIP till 825 at han’s. oh han’s soup is much nicer than the mix they used last time. But I think they’re using msg. And service has deteriorated. Like they give everything beside entrée at once. Last time was better la.

Ah well. Ok I'll go do bio icons now. Tomorrow I start coding like siao.

"Can we go back to the days our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how to get things back
The way they use to be"

http://sg.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/markhsx/album?.dir=/e1b8scd&.src=ph&.tok=phxEOOFBI4y5rlCK

a moment in time.
22:42

Today was a great day! It’s super late and we have a competition tomorrow so sorry no photos up yet. It’s gonna be a busy weekend for me. tomorrow wake up at 7, 8:30 to 3 is current affairs competition, 3 to 6 is RM, 6 to 8 is SIP. Pamela! If you read this confirm if we’re doing SIP. Sunday full day online doing bio site. Argh. Then helmsman. And no break. End at 5 everyday. And we have to get our RM draft done.

Today was a great day. In the morning, naz smsed me to bring slippers so I could wear a baju kurung. Then chose the purple suit and changed. Haha I think our class might win most enthu class! So many people wore ethnic! =) and we took photos haha and lessons were quite good today. Then inv!gorate! haha ok so we lost. But it was our glory moment. We played well, no doubt.

Floorball: I played only in the 2nd match. Just came down from current affairs. Subbed in, scored within 1st minute. Still got that special touch. AHAHA. Omgosh I love that goal =) haha I’m not sure how tyco it was, but the 3 defenders tried to whack the flying ball but they all missed lol.

Vball: Haha I think I played better than the last time. Haha and we put up one hell of a fight. Lost 1st set, but we played the 2nd set damn well. Then 3rd set was super tense and super close like last time. We were leading, v12 caught up. We were at 13-13. then they did 2 drop shots and we were gone. ARGHHH. So damn damn damn close. And we played so well! Quite well la. But like AH. Lol.

anyway it was fun la =) great job v13! Even though we might not be the champions. Haha. yay inv!gorate. I’ll miss that.

Then did current affairs till 11. woah. Haven’t stayed that late in sch since drama pracs. Haha. ohh drama. Hmm. Good times.

Let me believe in love

a moment in time.
01:04

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Today was an interesting day. Jampacked full of action from the first minute.
t: “I realised I kept my NY resolution of not falling in love till Vdae.” I wondered why we always end up talking about love
“Let’s not skirt this issue” so says subjectif, even though our president requested no blogging about what happened this morning. Everyone knows what happened. Those who don’t, http://blog.vjc.sg/2006/07/20/lets-not-skirt-this-issue/ will give you an idea. While you’re there, visit http://blog.vjc.sg/2006/07/15/speak/ , my first post I am contented with.
t+1: “I’m becoming the person I don’t want to become.” I asked you to save me. Yet you lied to me, hurt me. And I believed your excuses. I’m still waiting. Still waiting.
Anyway, hell, the guy is the problem. Seriously. As I commented
“The problem is the man. Which man, you know. The man who swings out his cameraphone and snaps photos of girls in compromising positions. That is the true issue. It's really really disturbing. *shivers*”
t+3: You let it all go downhill.
We should go get him. Haha I want to see the email after what miss low said. It’s like some engrish joke. LOL. I wonder who the poor girls in the photos are oO. What kind of fking sickminded freak is allowed to go around taking photos of girls’ skirts and legs? That’s the kind of people others were shooting down like mad in the media a couple of months ago. And now our school allows this and criticises its students instead? WHAT THE HELL?
t+4: Maybe now you know how it feels to be hurt.
Moving on, low came into class and did a skirt check. Suddenly, all the skirts in class had lengthened to knee length. LOL. then pe. Hmm. Floorball. Argh. Not sure if I should play tomorrow. I think I’ll go in first and see if I have the lucky touch, if not I’m out.
t+5: Everyday, you kill me. But I live. Everyday, I die. Yet I breathe.
Bio is genetics! Finally an interesting topic! Haha today’s activity was fun. I like going around and doing stuff instead of sitting in my chair and writing and drawing. That’s why I liked the time we went to the garden. We should go to the garden more!
Because even the greatest of loves can die.
After school was project rewind. Haha yearbook! It’s gonna be great. We better have one. just for memories’ sake.

Sternberg stresses the importance of translating the components of love into action. "Without expression," he warns, "even the greatest of loves can die". But what would I say to you. You don't understand what kind of love this is.

a moment in time.
21:09

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I wonder if you remember the way it used to be.april05

a moment in time.
23:00

Singapore.

Asia's 21st century transport hub.

Busiest port.

Best airport.

From port city to airport hub, we reached for the skies.

now...

Spaceport city.

http://www.spaceportsingapore.com/index.html
http://www.spaceportsingapore.com/pressrelease.html

2009.

Space...

... is no longer a dream.

a moment in time.
21:45

We are seeing the birth of a new Arab-Israeli war here, escalating from the current Israel-Lebanon conflict and the ongoing Israelis invasion of the Gaza Strip, starting a new Israeli-Palestinian conflict a couple of weeks before. Israel is fighting on two fronts. The UN is unable to prevent the conflict between Israel, Palestinian insurgents and Hezbollah. Halfway round the globe, a nuclear crisis has started in North Korea, when the United Nations Security Council unanimously adopts a resolution calling for weapons-related sanctions against North Korea. North Korea rejects the resolution. International agencies call this a nuclear crisis. A magnitude 7.7 earthquake started a tsunami, which strikes the Indonesian island of Java.

These are events in the one-week period preceding today. These are current affairs that really matter.

Today was an interesting day. So we finished our current affairs essay, thanks to Daryl’s continued effort. Haha. thanks. Ohh Cheryl, Nicole haha yay. hmm. Dunno what to say. I’m quite looking forward to Saturday. OMGOSH I just realised what I have on Saturday. Argh. Is there some drama meeting? Argh shid. Nvm. Anyway, today drama exco results were released. =)

And I stayed back and read Nat Geog. Woo. Cool. NEED GENERAL KNOWLEDGEEEE.

Thanks Lis for Hayley Westenra! Haha I listened to her music on Central before! No wonder she sounded familiar haha nice music =)

a moment in time.
21:24

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

She took hold of both his hands, put them to her chest, and looking him in the eye, under the witness of selene’s silver radiance, she told him “I will always love you. Always. I promise.” And she kissed his cheek, let him go as she smiled, and walked away into the darkness. He stood there staring after her, and for once, he believed he had found true joy.

…

He turned round the corner, the ring and roses in his grasp, “hey, I’ve got something for –” and yet, there they were, in each other’s arms, flushed red from the heat of the moment. “- you.” They broke apart, cheeks of crimson guilt. There was silence. There was nothing to say. The petals drifted down, as pale as snow. There was a soft ring. Then footsteps. Fading into the distance.

…

Till death do us part. He took one more step. And it felt just like flying without wings.

Haha yay love my group =) identity is the best lang arts module. (besides the construction of knowledge) I love love love identity. It’s about who you are. Who am I? Haha.

a moment in time.
23:07

Monday, July 17, 2006

The book urged me “today, examine your ways”

I don’t know when I’ll change.
I hope it’s soon.
I need Your help.
Thank You for the faith.

Naz, thanks for the cd. Great great track “life is wonderful”

"And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished

Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is so full of
Ah la la la la la la life is so rough
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is our love
Ah la la la la la"

Today, we changed our groups. Goodbye, xx, sam, prema, yufei. =( I wish you all the best in your future endeavours. Hello, simran, Xh, charissa, jastine. =) haha! but before I move on, here’s the stuff I’ll miss about pmsxy =)

The trio of sickness. Me, sam, naz. As in seriously. Hell, we’re not perverts. We just make damn funny sick jokes. Those were the funniest times I spent in 05v13. and the jokes, if one day we recall, will send us rolling on the floor clutching our ********** in painful laughter. naz says he has lots of great vids he has yet to show me. Lol.

I’ll miss pmsxy – our craziness, the food, the craziness, random spurts of joy, screaming, whacking, crazy jokes, random remarks, Old Aiport Road (!!!), crazy photos that prema xx took, samuel’s mad vibrating laughter, yufei’s -_-“ look hahaha. Thanks for the memories. =)

My new group – we’re gonna live it like never before. =)

"It's my birthday and I cannot find no cause for celebration
The scenario is grave but I'll be braver when you save me
From this situation laden with hearsay, oh"

I’ve got 2 new ideas.

1. a 3D GUI. Maybe some people have thought of this, but no one has tried. So it’d still be a 2d screen (cos I realised a 3D interface would take up a lot of space) and you navigate not with a mouse but a ball inside a globe suspended by magnetic levitation. And you take hold of the ball (AHAHAH) and move it around in the direction you want to go, just like a mouse. This goes beyond the 2d hologram thing you see in minority report. It’s a 3d hologram made for a 2d screen.

2. I forgot the 2nd idea. Ah.

a moment in time.
22:28

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIMRAN =)

hope you had a great bdae. Haha.

a moment in time.
20:19

Just disappointed in you.

It’s stuff like this that makes me go “what the hell”? and question our friendship. Damnit you weren’t even there for me. So why should I be there for you? Why should I care about you when you don’t care about me? Wth.

People reading, don’t think you know who I’m talking about. Cos no one knows me well enough anymore. Not even you. Don’t think you know me so well. You told me I don’t even know you well enough to know when you’re upset when I was trying to cheer you up. Then too damn bad. Sorry I wasn't there for you, cos I don’t know you, do I?

Don't believe what everyone says.
Don't trust anyone.
Trust only yourself.

Don’t blame me for the change of groups. Wth. If you don’t like it, it’s not my fault. And I did not say anything to “save myself”. Sheesh. I’m not that mean. And low said that whatever we said that day would not affect how she chooses the groupings. So if you don’t even know what you’re talking about, stfu.

"Like a broken angel on the ground, like a symphony without a sound.

Hey butterfly open up your weary eyes, and realize it's a trip we're taking.
And the world will turn around again.
And your shattered heart is going to mend.

In the end."

a moment in time.
10:17

You May Be a Bit Borderline...

Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame!
When you're up, you're a little bit crazy...
And when you're down, your whole world is crashing
Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

What Personality Disorder Are You?

You Are a Kinetic Learner

You learn best by doing, and you have a talent for complicated, physical tasks.
You excel at athletics, drama, and fixing things.
You would be an excellent Olympic athlete - or a Broadway star!

What's Your Learning Style?

Is tired.
So tired.
Ahh. Ok i'm sleeping

a moment in time.
01:17

Sunday, July 16, 2006

He sits there holding a rose. A white rose. Staring into the void before him. Because there’s no one to fill it. And he’s afraid to pick up the phone. He doesn’t know what he’ll hear. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know who to call anymore. It wouldn’t do any good, he decides. It would just make the both of us feel worse. And he gets up, makes himself a strong one. Then he just sits down. Holding a rose. A white rose. Staring into the void before him. Because there’s no one to fill it.

Because there’s no one to fill it.

a moment in time.
00:36

Saturday, July 15, 2006

While my mum was at some prison service intelligence talk on secret societies (which I think is quite cool), my dad and I (yay! Grammar!) went to ppt.

Haha PPT was actually cool. The vids were those we saw during 1st t3 assembly. Haha great times. Then subjcombis. And talking teachers. Went to math intending to ask on how to improve, ended up talking about H3 math. WHAT THE HELL. I’d so die in h3 math. I’ll see how I do next year. Most prob I’d take H3 physics over math. My math quiz scores are PWNING! 1,2. next one hopefully 3 or more.

Haha. then lang arts. Dunno why we went there la. My dad put darkside down cos he’s my mentor. But t42 =/= lang arts. Lol. I wonder what teachers would say if my parents went to them secretly and ask them what I am REALLY like in sch. Lol. After that, we sat around in the concourse. And as usual, the parents talked to each other. Then I listened in to my dad and nicole’s dad talking to ixer. And I was laughing when he said “if you are the kind of person who sits down on a chair and thinks about time and life, then you’re the right person for KI” and I was like lol (for obv reasons.) and I hope he din’t think it was rude.

Then civics. Ahaha. Well mostly abt what I do in class. Low was like “when he’s tired he just switches off” haha but I’m listening! Ok nvm. Then our parents left when xtine laura low me starting talking about what my dad called “student issues” so we have a private talk abt… hmm… student issues. I think that was the best part of the whole ppt cos we could express our opinions.

I’m scared of groupings!

Low says she has the time now to get ‘em done!

So Monday, we await our DESTINY.

Omgosh I slept from 3 to 830. grr.

Haha my tagboard has inspired me to start a new v13 war! This time its not Communist vs Western. It’s North-east vs East.

East Region
Bedok
Changi
Changi Bay
Paya Lebar
Pasir Ris
Tampines

North-East Region
Ang Mo Kio Planning Area
Hougang
North-eastern Islands
Punggol
Seletar
Sengkang
Serangoon

Defined by the 55 urban planning areas of Singapore.

East has:
Changi Airbase (East)
Changi Airbase (West)
Paya Lebar Airbase
Singapore Changi Airport (Auxillary)
Changi Naval Base
8 Army Camps
18 Generals

North East has:
Sembawang Airbase
Seletar Airport (Auxillary)
Sembawang Naval Base
4 Army Camps
9 Generals

In other words, East pwns North East.

a moment in time.
22:53

Friday, July 14, 2006

I just took a look at Ben's flickr. http://www.flickr.com/photos/benneb/ and i realised i was wrong abt singapore. the reason i never got to see so many sunsets in singapore is because i never went to bedok reservoir until now. Ben you're damn lucky to live beside bdk rsvr. haha. amazing amazing breathtaking photos. gosh. i love bedok reservoir. =) oh and i updated my flickr! with my first bedok reservoir photos too! http://www.flickr.com/photos/markhsx

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

What's" Your Personality Type?

Hahaha so true! =)

Because even when people lie, eventually, by luck or logic, I know.

A draft of my upcoming Subjectif post, haha I need someone to review it:

I found it ironic when a national youth dialogue was announced during assembly two days ago, less than a week after mr brown (http://www.mrbrown.com/) lost his TODAY column after he had been, according to the government, “distorting the truth” in his last column, “S'poreans are fed, up with progress!”

The government’s statement sparked off a huge response in the online community – even foreign commentators like Reporters without Borders criticised the government’s action:

“This reaction from a Singaporean official is disturbing,” the press freedom organisation said. “It reads like a warning to all journalists and bloggers in a country in which the media are already strictly controlled. The media have a right to criticise the government’s actions and express political views. Furthermore, a newspaper’s editorial policies depend solely on its editors. They should under no circumstances be subject to instructions issued by the government.”

This responds to the government’s statement that

““It is not the role of journalists or newspapers in Singapore to champion issues, or campaign for or against the Government. If a columnist presents himself as a non-political observer, while exploiting his access to the mass media to undermine the Government's standing with the electorate, then he is no longer a constructive critic, but a partisan player in politics.”

After TODAY suspended mr brown’s column, people starting sending letters to Today’s editors, Mediacorp’s CEO, ministers, the Prime Minister and the President. All of the letters were rejected, but the debate carries on where it can. As of now, there are 1782 comments on his three posts regarding the column alone.

I am treading on sacred ground here. I might be suspended from Subjectif, I might be arrested whilst in deep sleep, the principal might ask for a meeting etc etc, but I won’t let any of these take away my right to speak.

The government is aiming for greater political activism among youths, but they are sending all the wrong signals, and this just makes it seem like they are just putting up a front. Bloggers being charged and arrested, stringent censorship laws, undefined OB markers, and of course, the latest mr brown saga… how can the government expect youths to speak up without fear?

What I am concerned with is the state of speech in Singapore.

mr brown’s comment on “progress” was one of his usual humour pieces. He subtly attacked and brought attention to government policies he felt were problematic, yet the government was unwilling to take into consideration the problems he faced, instead informing him that although he was “entitled to his views”, his comments were a “diatribe”, and that he should “offer constructive criticism and alternatives”.

Sure, citizens will do the best they can, but is it not the government’s duty to offer the alternatives? How can the state improve itself when it does not listen to the opinions and cries of its citizens? If an innocent sarcastic comment aimed at the government is shot down with such ferocity, how can youths expect to speak up and make their opinions known without the fear of being shot down themselves?

I believe the government can rely on the online community to rebut seditious, undesirable comments without taken any coercive action of its own. If the government wants to improve how it runs this country and get youths to speak up, I suggest that a more liberal, open-minded view should be taken towards the opinions of its citizens. This means it should consider all opinions and comments. If it does not do so, then constructive comments would go to waste, and the government cannot expect its people, let alone the youth of this country, to speak up.

Maybe it just hurt. He walked down the street, the leaves rustling across the sidewalk. Darkness dawning upon the horizon. Sometimes the sunset was orange, sometimes the sky painted a lilac. He felt the emptiness on the tip of his tongue, a subtlety of romance in this sepia world. Walking along, he heard the voices calling behind him. She said, “you’re just a friend to me anyway..” as the fountains continued to flow. He walked on; this time, there was no turning back. He had to move on. The song rang the night.

Hurt me. Like you always do.
Tell me. Everything that will hurt me.
Cure me. Of this intoxication.

Destroy me.
Let me live.

a moment in time.
22:30

He didn’t want to tell anyone. It would just make it worse. Yet he wanted people to notice. As he stood there, them passing by, shadows of the past, living for the moment. He looked at her as the world revolved around them, as life carried on. He tried to speak but the words felt so empty, they drifted into the sky. The emotions just dribbled down his skin and made a mess.

Watched Sepet today. To me, a show more about family and the social condition than interracial love. lol.

I look at you as the world used to revolve around us, as life stopped for the moment. I try to speak but the words feel so empty, they drift into the smoke. The emotions just dribble down my skin and make a mess.

"Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain...
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue...
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you..."

Someday I'll know why you lied to me today.

a moment in time.
02:18

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Love, I detest thee.
Yet with all faith I believe.

All his friends had gone on to bigger things. He sat down in silence, gazing at the midnight sun, the eternal sunset. Well, it looked like his time had come. All the fame and fortune, he had let slip from his fingertips. He had it all. Had. He was a nobody, maybe less. Cubicle dweller, the incessant clicks of the keyboard, the shuffling of feet past him. Unnoticed. Well, at least he had love. Had. The words still ringing in his ears. “You’re just a friend to me anyway”.
stop hurting me
Every cell of my body.
Every molecule of my being.
Every mole of my soul.
Every dm^3 of my spirit.
Every kilogram of my mind.
Every metre of my hope.
Crying out for you.
Crying out for You.

First draft of my very own I am a Singaporean:
http://web.vjc.moe.edu.sg/students/v05v13_hengsxm/sgprean.wav

Flickr updated! http://www.flickr.com/photos/markhsx

a moment in time.
22:20

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Planet Mars will be the brightest in the night sky starting August.It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye.This will culminate on Aug. 27 when Mars comes within 34.65 miles of earth. Be sure to watch the sky on Aug. 27 12:30 am. It will look like the earth has 2 moons. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287.

ARGH I should have written a love story for zuo wen! Now I destroyed my spree! And I might have gotten higher marks! Haha but ok la. Just that writing abt the obstacles in the VIP is like oO. Lol. hmm. Haha

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE!!!

Yupp. So hmm. Lang arts was interesting. Bio ok. Surprise test! Lol. then chem. ahh chem test coming! Ahh! Haha. I suck at eqns. Grrness. Ah well. Went to bugis for a while w nic xx louis haha. Wonder what they got. Then I spent 2 hours researching at tamp lib and nat lib. Haii.

a moment in time.
23:22

Monday, July 10, 2006

The hurt never ends.

Haha. went to changi airport for dinner ytd. Instead of the world cup @ sch. To have a family dinner cos we haven’t had one in long. Haha SUSHIIIII. Mmm and TWO servings of soft shelled crab! And TWO kakiages!!! Omgosh. Woo… then had oreos and vanilla ice cream. Haha.

Today was… a rollercoaster. Most days are.

Math quiz sucked. My marks are most prob gonna be 1, 2, 3. quite cool la. But like super low. I don’t know how liao. Just feel like giving up on math altogether I guess. I don’t even have a CA mark to save me now. Chi was fine. I wrote abt the vip. And how obstacles can be overcomed by faith. But that’s all crap. Just to keep the mood of the text optimistic. Then ss. And KI test. Then waited till 530. and home.

Well, I had cereal prawns and hotplate oyster omelette for dinner haha

Just like a falling star.

They just keep hurting and hurting you.

Till you don't even want to anymore.

a moment in time.
20:35

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Oh! This one’s not random haha

You Are An Ash Tree

You are vivacious and impulsive, which makes you extremely attractive to many.
Intelligent and demanding, you don't care much for criticism.
You have a ton of ambition and talent, and sometimes money rules your heart.
You like to play with fate, and you can be very egotistical and restless.
Demanding of attention, you need love and a lot of emotional support.

What's Your Celtic Horoscope?

Just don’t read too much into this.
No one knows me well enough to even know.

I will never change who you are.
You are unique, and that is what makes you special.
To me.

I cannot lie and say I have loved only you alone.
When I never even had your love.

I cannot promise to never feel tempted.
We are only human.
But I promise to be faithful.
Till the end.

I don’t have all the money in the world.
The only gift I promise you is love.

The only part of your body that never ever heals.
Is the heart.

I do not believe there is the one
But I love you, and I have chosen you above all others.

a moment in time.
15:45

Omgosh. Now I feel so bad.

While in London, there were people selling this mag on the streets, called the Big Issue. And I thought they were like promoting crap stuff, like people hawking stuff for some megacorp.

“The Big Issue's aim is to help homeless and vulnerably housed individuals help themselves by providing the means to earn a legitimate income through sales of the magazine. It provides an alternative to the illegal activity of begging for some of the most vulnerable people in society.”

I wish I had helped.

Sheesh. You're so ironic even when I care.

a moment in time.
00:02

Saturday, July 08, 2006

You Are 4: The Individualist

You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.

You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.

You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.

Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.

What Number Are You?

Heh. Well today, I went on Goggle Earth and put points on as many of our uk trip locations as possible. Then it occurred to me that we’d never go to uk as a class as a vip or with my good friends now again and it saddened me. Haha now I’m hoping for a super quick progression of technology.

Goggle earth -> real-time goggle earth -> … -> space-time teleporter

Write-memory -> dream recorder -> real-time life recorder

This two lines would then coincide in a machine which would allow me to inhibit my own person and mind in any time of my life and relive those memories. I wouldn’t be able to change anything (which would be risky because of the time machine paradox) but I’d be able to experience the environment, emotions etc etc just as it were then, as some sort of two-bodied spirit, one with the knowledge that I am in a machine/programme, one the real body that went through the whole thing.

Woah.

a moment in time.
23:39

Woah I’m super tired now. Really really really tired.

Indeed, today I walked all the way to marine cove just to think abt life (and get a meal from macs) but the words of many people (nazri today) knocked me back into my senses. It is all this thinking too much that ruins relationships
, ruins the self, ruins what hope we still have. I concluded that we shouldn’t worry about life (even though I most prob will cont to) because we just need to be prepared for the bad things that are gonna happen anyway

In Context was about metaphysical poetry in the Renaissance

“Death, thou shalt die”

Love that quote.

Then inv!gorate part 2. bleh. I suck at bball and vball now. And naz says I suck at floorball. Haha it is true I guess. I’m relying on my classic one-goal by luck, then after that I’ll sub out. Ah well. At least we are in the finals for vball or part of a 3 way tie for the finals. Haha. well, I guess although I wasn’t a star player, I had a lot of fun! Haha. thanks guys for cheering us on! =) I will make sure I get that one goal in. =) then went to mcd for dinner. Then took 15 home and talked.

And my mp3 player wire is screwing up so I can’t upload my “I am a Singaporean”. Ah well.

a moment in time.
00:03

Thursday, July 06, 2006

for the very first time today, I went to Bedok Reservoir. I was like omgosh nice sunset! so my parents drove me there. and I stepped onto the grass. it was a very emotional moment for me. hahahaha after 16.1 (3sf) years of living in tamp and not stepping into bedok reservoir park, I finally did. haha and it’s nice!

"Fear of rejection, kept my love inside
Told my heart I didn't want you but I lied"

Your Emoticon is Cool

You're not feeling particularly up or down, just relaxed and calm. You're ready for whatever is going to happen next!

What Emoticon Best Represents You Right Now?

yeah. it’s been a rollercoaster today. was super charged up, and pretty stressed by the la test. haha but pe was quite fun. yay cball. I like cball. then la test. quite good haha =) went to 7-11 after that w Xh and prem haha black forest ice creammm! then walked around sch and played the piano (as in tried).

wean bukekayo
huba penzi upendo

emotional rollercoaster.

haha watching child of our time. on gender today. cool. some interesting facts.

by 1 year, babies can distinguish the sexes by voice
by 4 or smth, boys look for boys’ toys, girls look for girls’ toys and are uncomfortable with wearing clothing stereotyped to the other sex. they reject and throw down toys they (and grownups) associate with the other sex
parents more often allow girls play with boy’s toys and associate with boys’ stuff as compared to boys with girls.

brain sex:
caused by hormones while in the womb. levels of male vs female hormones results in the difference in brain sex of a child

males are better navigators in new places because they read maps as a whole and see things as a whole as compared to women who concentrate on a route but communicate better

masculine: ring finger compared to index finger
feminine: index finger longer vs ring finger

me:
from
index finger (right): 8.7, 6.5
ring finger (right): 8.5, 6.4
index finger (left): 8.3, 6.8
ring finger (left): 8.5, 6.9

yay I’m balanced.

you don't even know how much love you have in your life

look at me.

a moment in time.
23:02

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

ok. need a break now. wah la tests are always very stressful. esp this time cos I din’t meet my expectations for ca1. really dint meet my expectations. and this time I have to do well. la is a savious subject for me. ahh. stress. bleh. anyway, the blogthing. haha to people who think they know who, I would never so easily put who I really like cos I got tricked by wong chun han early last year. lol. so yeah, I’m not so dumb anymore. and I wanna take up an instrument! I found this grade 1 theory cert. I never knew I completed even a grade. oO. and I let it all go to waste. sigh. one day la. if not I’ll just sing.

"Dont worry that its not
Good enough for anyone
Else to hear
Just sing, sing a song"

a moment in time.
21:25

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

ahhh. stress! haha after Thursday should be ok for a few days. and my grp is going to the new Newton circus on Sunday! whee. omg Pamela we better start SIP. I hope u see this. or I’ll just tell u tmr. ARGH lang arts. and there’s effing SURPRISE bio test! wah ms low, if you see this, don’t give surprise tests liao. really it just drives everyone [me] nuts. and we can’t concentrate on anyth else besides studying bio and it’s really irritating. bleh.

a moment in time.
23:58

haha watched superman today! haha cheesy but nice movie. some scenes are totally mindblowing. sojme beautiful scenes. then dialogue is like cheesy. haha I love “I send them you, my only son”. woooo. ok. ate at kfc. then took mrt home w Yvonne. haha yayyy superman! oh I like the line “You wrote that the world doesn't need a saviour, but every day I hear people crying for one” WOO.

a moment in time.
00:10

Monday, July 03, 2006

lalala. nothing much today. haha I’m gonna buy the superman dvd. woo.

You Are Batman

Billionaire playboy by day. Saving the world by night.
And you're not even a true superhero. Just someone with a lot of expensive toys!

What Superhero Are You?

a moment in time.
00:34

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Mark Shu Xun Heng's Aliases

Your movie star name: Icecream Godfather

Your fashion designer name is Mark London

Your socialite name is Markypoo Singapore

Your fly girl / guy name is M Hen

Your detective name is Lion Dunman

Your barfly name is Cereal Wine

Your soap opera name is Shu Xun 83

Your rock star name is Ferrero Eurofighter

Your Star Wars name is Marter Whatever la you mic

Your punk rock band name is The Content Blackhead

The Amazing Meganame Generator

I saw the stories of love ad on tv, and I wanted to take part and was pretty eager about it. then I read the requirements and it totally turned me off.

Submission Guidelines:
Please ensure all information on the entry form matches the information requested below. Each photograph submission must be accompanied with the following information:

1. Each photograph entry requires a caption and a write-up. Please use this Stories of Love Entry Form and include your full details and the following:

•CAPTION: You are to provide a title or caption AND a description for each photograph i.e. what the photograph means to you.
•WRITE-UP: You are also required to include a write up of your "Stories of Love" (less than 60 words).
•LABEL YOUR ENTRY FORM: Label your entry form with your surname, then first name underscore “SOLform”. (e.g.: TanCindy_SOLform.doc).

2. Each photograph entry must be submitted with a 12 R-sized photograph (12inches X18inches, 4megapixles, resolution: 1944 dpi by 2592 dpi).

3. Each photograph entry must be of glossy finish and must be laminated (Please note: photo lamination takes 3 working days).

4. You are to submit a CDRom with an electronic format of your photograph only in tiff or jpg format (4megapixles, resolution: 1944 dpi by 2592 dpi).
•Label each photo file with your surname, then first name and consecutive numbers. (e.g.: TanCindy1, TanCindy2).

I think I’ll just stick to Project Shutter. Haii one day I’ll enter a professional competition. One day.

oh today was totally fun! haha inv!gorate rocks. thanks to the organising comm. for a job well done. watched some soccer, then went to umpire 11-12 cball, then decided I wasn’t cut out, so I passed on to darho. so watched cball and soccer. haha great matches. it doesn’t matter if we win or lose, the experience itself is worth it right? oh gosh I love the pearl harbor score. if someone played Tennessee one day, it would totally make my day. =) haha so went to bugis for lunch after that. mos burger. then RM. I mostly took photos of the pages of the Straits Settlements Annual Reports volume 9 (1926-1930), vol 10 (1931-1933) so din’t need to waste $$ photocopying haha. and it’s actually faster oO

a moment in time.
21:23