_colour my life_ my monologue

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Happy Birthday to Xin Hui! =)
Happy Teacher’s Day to everyone!

Woo the concert was funky. Heh. The first video was good haha. Monster kill Ownage Wicked Sick lolness dota. The fashion parade was… interesting. Ahaha my goodness lah. Then me and nic went to buy flowers, and then we went back to DHS. Then after seeing most of the teachers, we went back to SHPS. Then saw some teachers and friends from way back. Ahh, days of innocence. Ah well.

Then we experienced BGS (Big Group Syndrome) as xtine and some other people call it. This is when you’re in a big group, and dunno where to go and just stone as some forsaken place for an hour. Heh. In the end I went home, where the smell of soup and sardine toast wafted in the air. =)

Oh btw, SGS applies sometimes too. Haha. I have found that the optimum number of people to go out with is 2-3 people at a time, and that’s when randomness takes place, and you don’t waste time, but just go do random stuff. Like take the LRT for fun, and go places that one would never go in Big Groups or Small Groups. Heh.

Once again, happie bdae to Xh =) and happie teacher’s day!

a moment in time.
20:45

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

haha they told me to stop lying to myself =)

ohh i'm tearing so many pages out of my book! it's losing weight and growing thin!

oh btw, i'm NOT anorexic. and i do eat snacks. i'm just lazy to go down and eat la. and i have 3 suppers every night yah? =) but so far i've gained 1 kg this year. and now i weigh the same as i did last year. which is borderline underweight. which is fine. i think. oO. i shall give high metabolic rate as an excuse.

a moment in time.
22:55

Here

I see your silent silhouette
Gracing in front of me
Your sweet, sensual dance
Your hair, flowing like wine
Those sparkling eyes like stars
Shining above our midnight sky
I miss your soft touch
So comforting, so calming
I miss you next to me
Where we laughed and cried
Together, under the moonlight
Dancing in the moonlight
That’s what we used to do
Until I saw your shadow no more
Now you’re an outline in my mind
A figment of my imagination
I see the shades of your face
I reach out, try to get you back
But you’re gone
But you’re gone
Left me here
Alone.

Well I felt happy today, for a few reasons haha. Anyway, today was somewhat like yesterday. An endless, relentless assault of tests and assignments. I have nothing to complain about. Yupp. Then went to PP with charissa, michh, pam, naz haha =)

a moment in time.
21:28

Monday, August 29, 2005

"One more time saying goodbye to love.
And wondering why, so I only
Hope that I'm learning to make the right choices.
I keep hearin' voices sayin'...

I'll be alright; it's just another heartbreak baby.
I'll be alright, soon as I forget your face.
I'll be alright; I'll just write another love song.
I'll be alright; Lord, just get me through the night.

Some hearts get so used to feelin' this way,
But that's not for me.
Oh, I only know things do happen for all the right reasons.
That's why I'm believin' ..."

- I'll Be Alright - Kenny G

So maybe we're just friends
But I'll be alright
Cos it's just another heartbreak
=)

a moment in time.
22:34

Today was a rather freaky day. Tension was high. Anticipation ruled. Test after test, assignment after assignment, it was a relentless assault of results. Well I can’t complain. Ah well. And I just realised I have to do a CHINESE powerpoint on wwii in Singapore. Hmm. So far so good. I’m using Babelfish to slowly translate the appropriate English words into Chinese then cutting the words into the ppt.

Everybody needs ice cream =)

PS. Thanks charissa for Kenny G =) haha I love jazz =) woo.

a moment in time.
21:38

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Update: Some photos from Indie-venture week uploaded at my flickr account! =) http://www.flickr.com/photos/markhsx/

I'm bored. derob haha. Blehh. Ok. Let's have some CS before the homework. =) whee I'm happie. But I just don't wanna think about the final exams. Ahh.

Oh btw, Yirui says wine is a sissy drink. Heh. Then what isn't? I prefer to remain a simple person and enjoy plain wine without all the high-class poser-ish additions. =) I'm an easily satisfied person. Give me a slice of cheese or ice cream or just something tasty and I'm happy. =) Haha. Unlike some PP's ; )

Update 2: Blehh I'm bored haha. Wonder who started studying for final exams liao. Those crazy kiasu people haha

a moment in time.
14:29

Saturday, August 27, 2005

markhsx - simulacra simulacra
Posted by markhsx
Posted @ [27 Aug 2005, 04:31:32 PM]

Realisation just struck me that technology is like a television series made out of simulacra. A simulacra is a copy of a copy of a copy and so on, and thus has become dissipated.

What I saw was that technology is made up of the simulacra from life. From computer games, to word processors, to blogs, to mp3 players and computers, technology aims to serve, copy, enhance life, but in reality, it cannot replace what true life is.

I love computer games. But what they do is to just allow gamers to do something that they would most probably not be able to do, or that if they did, they’d be criminals.

My favourites games - Grand Theft Auto, Counter-strike, Battlefield 2, let me shoot people down without being accused of murder or without suffering some unknown consequence. Flight simulators and The Sims and so many other games let me and other gamers do things I would not be able to do. It’s a great life.

But we all know that these games cannot replace life. Because they are just a copy, yet they are come from so many originals, they try to combine so many elements that they have no fixed original anymore.

Word processors, blogs, mp3 players, the Internet, instant messaging, and so much more, all aim to enhance or copy or make a better version of some aspect of life, from communications to work to entertainment to daily life. All these rely on the changes and aspects of life.

But take a look at CNN’s Technology homepage (http://www.cnn.com/TECH/) or any other technology homepage and one realises something. Life is actually beginning to rely on technology, even though technology depends on life. We have become so dependent on the aid that technology brings that our must-haves list is dominated by the handphone, the new laptop, the new computer game.

Sometimes we need a break from technology, from all these copies that serve to disillusion us. Sometimes we need a break from all the work. Just take some time, walk out of the urban life we have, and smell the flowers and enjoy the reality that is life.

http://www.moe.gov.sg/corporate/contactonline/2005/Issue15/cluster/helmsman.htm

haha Marjorie linked me to this.

It’s title:

Mount Fuji and The Helmsman Programme

By James Koh Sze Ming, Head, Victoria Integrated Programme, Victoria Junior College

A familiar proverb in Japan goes like this: 'He who climbs Mount Fuji once is a wise man, he who climbs it twice is a fool'. Fool, or otherwise, climbing Japan’s second highest peak was exactly what students on the Victoria Integrated Programme (VIP) did. And many were the wiser for it too.

Lolness. And it has photos too.

Today I did nothing random. Which I realise is sad. And that random stuff is happy stuff =) woo.

a moment in time.
22:19

woo. spook show rocked! haha so it was me, charissa, Xh, pamela, chun han, yirui, laura, samuel and yi xiang. haha the pastor/magician is like pro lah, then summon "spirits" then finally, very appropriately bind and cast those spirits out in the name of Jesus. good transition haha. yi xiang said the sinner's prayer and we followed him through the process thing. haha praise God

went to breko. atmosphere not bad, food not bad either. i had a beef and bacon sandwich haha. nice. =)

i'm happy =)

a moment in time.
00:29

Friday, August 26, 2005

lol so i slept at 530. the time i usually wake up to go to school. woke up at 645. haha then yirui's dad rushed us to school. thanks so much to yirui and chun han for you and your families' hospitality! haha then we rushed our report, but couldn't complete it. we presented impromptu. wah pro leh haha. indie-venture was not really fruitful, but the process was great. in a way.

struggle for one whole week
almost reached physical and stress limits
supper phase 1, phase 2, bitching sessions =)
surviving on an hour or two of sleep
the most effort on a single project (also compared with other groups - we were the earliest to wake, latest to sleep, or never sleep)
the most cash spent on a single project - 50 bucks or more

ahaha we didn't get top 3 or anything. our presentation paled in comparison to other groups' but i guess everyone's was great =) ahaha then i had ben and jerry's with Xh and charissa and then went home. fell asleep on bus, haha woke up at tamp interchange. lolness.

what a week.

gtg out soon

a moment in time.
16:22

it's 4:49 AM and we're staying over at yirui's house. and we're really dying. this isn't even a curriculum project and we've spent the most money and effort in it. wth. my whole group is effing tired and we're dying cos the calculations just screwed up.

a moment in time.
04:49

Thursday, August 25, 2005

What a week. Ahaha so busy lah. Wahh. So we met at orchard today at 730. everyone else was like in uniform and I was the only student on the train in home clothes lah. And we were the only students in orchard at that time. And there were so little people roaming the streets. Ahaha. Quite funky. Met ms tey at wisma atria outside the closed mcd. Haha

Then we went to Wheelock Place BK for breakfast. Haha croissanwichs rock! Woo. But the bacon is super unhealthy lah. Haha then we went around Wheelock then met mr koh at taka. And he brought us to some café with “toasties” and cakes and drinks. He recommended the ice lemon tea which ch thot was really nice. Wahh the truffle cake damn nice sia.

Haha then charissa’s =) group came by. Haha xtine was waving crazily about her spiderman comics haha then we went around Singapore buying materials. First was bras basah. Haha that place damn noisy cos of renovations. Art friend is a great place for art materials. Haha. We stopped by at MacDonald’s for a much needed rest, then decided to follow ch’s teacher’s recommendation. And thus went to ubi. Wah blardy random sia.

We took a hell lot of effort going there then when we reached, the shop was closed. We shouldve called first… haha but nvm. We struggled desperately in that desolate area, trying to find metal sheets. In the end me and xian went to the other levels, and a refrigeration company sold us metal sheets which we saw lying about. Wah imagine what would have happened if we didn’t get that. Haha very grateful.

What the hell were we doing in ubi? Sia lah.

Then we went to ch’s house. And im still at ch’s house. Me and yirui are staying over! Haha damn fun lah. Play cs. But mostly, of course, do indieventure haha fun. Quite fun. But im tired. And I might sleep later. Haha. Ill go cut metal now ahaha.

Whee.

a moment in time.
00:17

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Lol so we met at siglap mcd in the morning. 730. then leanne’s group was there too. And we met koh at 830. then ms tey at 930. oh. Btw, we came up with names for their vehicles. The very first one was early this term. We found mr koh’s ford while going out of school. And thus christened it the Kohford. Apparently ms tey drives a Toyota. So xtine calls it the teyota ahaha. So funky.

Then we went to yirui’s house. Haha slacked quite a lot lah. but morning was productive. Oh and we watched bruce almighty! Ahaha. Damn funny. But quite blasphemous. Lol ahaha. Then took mrt home with xx. Then talk haha. so boring and tiring lah. blehh. But my group is FUN! =)

I shall go try to continue the report now… have to be at orchard at 715 tomorrow. Wah sia lah.

PS. My first game of cs since dunno when. Since I got halo and bf2. (demos) haha. well at first I got pwned real bad. Then I got the hold again. But I really need practice on the weapons besides those semi-scope ones.

a moment in time.
23:56

Wow what a day. we had assembly in the morning, and nearly joined the world cyber games, in which I would have been certainly pwned. Heh.

Argh! I knew it! It’s so similar to MI week! Multiple-intelligence week! Where a bio-proj-scale project is squeezed into one week. Heh. Here we go again. At least got experience. And this time don’t need to go wading waist-deep in Ubin’s muddy river water. =)

a short briefing
lecture on Postmodern Architecture
lecture on Thermal Transfer
surprisingly lang arts seems funner than physics part ahaha
discuss discuss then left for speaker’s corner

wah how ironic lah. police post beside speaker’s corner
and so many regulations and rules
what sort of freedom of speech is there? lol
walked to hong lim complex
the sook ching memorial
it’s quite sad, just empty ground with a plaque
famous for its pigeons? Lol
so we just sat there and discussed stuff
then when waiting for bus an old man fell
cos his left knee cap gave way
so yirui supported him while me and mr boy waited
and mr koh drove us in his darling ford (as yirui put it) to hong lim
and we sat the man down on some seat where lots of other old men were
then go around in the kohford then also dunno where eskibar is
eventually found it in some ulu place with lots of clubs and bars

wah sia lah.
damn cool place, both literally and metaphorically
wooo nice all the ice and glass and –4 deg c temperature and white and ice blues
my kind of interior design
except I prefer a clash of glass and metal
wahh damn nice lah.
nicer than dxo, but kinda cramped

haha then ch left for training, and we went to the gallery hotel. Wah damn nice place. Wonder why it’s so unheard of in Singapore! It’s beautiful lor wahh. Ok I shall upload photos tomorrow and everyone can see the beauty. Even the website rocks lah! http://www.galleryhotel.com.sg/ wooo. =) great site leh.

Then we took lots of other photos along the way. Haha but won’t reveal until after indieventure week. Wah damn beautiful places. Like really not in Singapore anymore. Never see those places before de. Haha we rested at liang court for 3 hours +. Haha gossip gossip talk talk. Other groups were there too haha.

Omgoodness. And I relived my childhood. Thanks so much guys! I didn’t know that there still was a Japanese supermarket in Singapore, after daimaru closed down. All the forgotten treasures of my childhood. Really brings back the memories. The gummy sweets, the Japanese biscuits, the Japanese stuff. it really matters to me. thanks so much. =)

We moved on to other stuff when night fell. took 54. and tyco tyco I mananged to spot a super ulu road both on the map and on the bus route and dropped correctly haha. some tyco skills. Haha. wah nice place! Haha but not saying yet. So yah. Wah that area really everywhere postmodern leh.

Haha then we went to orchard for dinner/supper. And ch returned haha. Reached home at 1130. another long day tomorrow. Ahaha. Here we go again. Indie-venture week.

a moment in time.
01:18

Monday, August 22, 2005

I really need a good steak, and a glass of red wine.

Ahaha. William Tan came to church today. Yupp. A great testimony. From kindergarten dropout to ri student to scholar to doctor to the man who holds two marathon records (10 marathons on 7 continents in 70 days, 6 marathons in 24 hours). And he attributes it to the grace of God.

I came up with a phrase. A simple one…

we can only run the race by His grace. =)

Haha went to ch’s house to do bio proj. haha so now we’re staying up late to complete it. and looks like most of the vip is doing so too haha. it’s almost 1 am. Yupp.

Went to compasspoint after that for dinner with my parents who met me there. Whee. And bought stuff. and the moon was like nice lah. lol. kk better get back to work.

"You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you."
- You're Beautiful - James Blunt

a moment in time.
01:18

Saturday, August 20, 2005

1.what made you happy this week ?
eating magnum, going out
xtine: that's difficult question
charissa: nothing
chun han: i found out that mark was ghey cos he was eating too much eel oO

2.what made you sad this week?
a lot of stuff =) haha ~~cough parkway parade~~

3.has someone/somebody made u happy lately?
yupp =)

4.how are you feeling at the moment?
funny haha on phone with charissa xtine chun han

6.are you the type of person who easily gets hurt?
i guess

7. do you cry?
=(

8.have you ever been to a point in your life that
huh? that??

9. the last movie you watched?
charlie and the choc factory

10. with who?
xtine, ch, yr, xx, jared, laura, nicole, sam chye, anyone else i forgot

11. the last song you heard?
radiohead - the tourist

12. the last time you spent ur money?
yesterday, on pizza hut

13. the last place you went?
parkway parade

14. the last food you ate ?
almond magnum and pears

15. the last thing you heard from your parents?
do you want me to buy supper?

16. the last thing you said to your parents?
no

17. the last thing you said to one of your friends?
i eat unagi at least 3 times a week

18. the last thing you read?
msn from michelle

19. the last person you called?
chun han, conference with charissa and xtine

20. the last person who called you?
some guy asking if i was going or not in hokkien oO

21. the last person who msg you?
chun han

22. the last person who said you're pretty/
handsome?
mum's friend lol

23. the last person who msg you at friendster?
laura from long ago

24. the last person who messaged you in MSN?
michelle lah

25. the last person/s you're with?
umm i'm at home? or with as in bgr then not recently

26. the last person you kissed goodnight?
mum i guess

27. the last person you kicked?
i don't kick people oO

28. the last person you think of before going to
sleep?
I pray to God, then think of the people i love =)

29. the last thing you're going to do before going to
sleep?
try to add to bio report, play bf2

30. the last time you went clubbing?
i went to DXO, but not for clubbing

31. What song are you listening now?
radiohead - climbing up the walls

32. handphone brand?
nokia

33.wat would u do if someone tells u he/she likes
u?
depends on who, if someone i like then happie lor

34. where do u live?
earth

35. what can't you live without?
God, life, oxygen, food, water, friends, love, family etc etc

36. who are you thinking of right at this moment?
someone haha hmm

37. what do you want most?
=)

38. what would best describe you?
volatile

39. who do you hate?
heh.

40. What do you hate?
the imperfections of life and the world. the most recently thing, the final exams =(

41. what do you look forward to?
~~seeing someone with someone again~~, indieventure week, holidays!, and post-exam

42. Few words before we call it a day?
Few words before we call it a day

Bahness? Bahness. What a ghey day! And eating eel is risky to a small extent now. Cos it has green malachite haha. so I’ll stop. And ch told us over the phone about it. and I had just eaten unagi for dinner. lolness. Green malachite causes liver tumours in rats. Yupp. It was nice knowing you people.

a moment in time.
22:53

“We are all subjects of the Lee dynasty.” To what extent is this statement true? [25 marks]

This statement is true to a large extent. The Lee dynasty exists because of Lee Kuan Yew’s rule of Singapore, and subsequently his son, Lee Hsien Loong, maintained the Lee family’s power over Singapore. As citizens of this supposedly democratic nation, we are subject to the rule of the Lee Dynasty...

0 marks! Your answer is politically incorrect!

a moment in time.
11:29

Wah what a day. yesterday (Friday), was a super packed day lah haha. math the pe. Woo vball. Then physics test. 12:12 PM marked the end of doomsweek. We ate at pizza hut. Wah damn nice food. Then ate at swensen’s. I was like super full lah. then saw 2 people. Lol. then bumped into ms low and mrs jay and her son. Haha. see so many people so late at night lehh. Then I reached home at 10:45.

31

The engine groans,
It will not rest.
I see the lights fly
I see the sparks fly
Two objects strike
The sound that gets going
Rain down rain down
From my great height
Sight failing the phone
This machina that stimulates
It rings incessantly
So unconsciously I do not know
Her voice draining me
Of all my contemplation
The multi-volt shocks
Whack. Whack. Wkahc.
Whine, but please do not
When realisation finally comes
And you never realised
That the person meant for you
Had always been the one there for you
Pig Latin, my life has been
The fishes in the sea, all dead
The old lies, the old life
Reduce, reuse, recycle
Same old brand new
One day we will live
Like we were meant to

a moment in time.
00:43

Thursday, August 18, 2005

"Asking for approval and only speaking when you're spoken to really don't work for either of you."
- frenster joint horoscope

haha how true =)

This would get laura screaming: http://studentssketchpad.blogspot.com/2005/07/evil-scgs-girl.html

This would get zh and xtine screaming: http://studentssketchpad.blogspot.com/2005/07/feminazic-rgs-girl.html

This would get VJC in an uproar: http://studentssketchpad.blogspot.com/2005/08/schools-journal-1.html

but hell if this ain't a good site.

http://studentssketchpad.blogspot.com/
a webcomic by students, for students.

wootness!

a moment in time.
22:16

Chinese test finally over! And it wasn’t too bad, although I made careless mistakes. Haha and I participated in what might be the most successful rush ever! Wheeness =) kog, xtine, prema – you guys rock! woot!

What a day.

After lang arts seminar, I went to mpcl with Xh and charissa and did half the math assignment.

Then had pasta at changi airport. Wheeness. White wine. Finally some alcohol flowing through my veins. =)

Xtine has a point in her post.

Do a google search for ohio unit

http://www.google.com.sg/search?hl=en&q=ohio+unit&meta=

the seemingly innocent keyword turns out with continuous heart wrenching headlines

Ohio town shaken by Marine deaths
Ohio Unit Loses 20 Marines in 72 Hours
14 more Marines from Ohio unit die in Iraq
Ohio unit families cope with deaths of 19 Marines this week

We complain about how our lives suck. How we’re so stressed. How we’re all breaking down. Admittedly, guiltily, I was one of them who ranted on and on. Now I feel ashamed. Feel so ungrateful for the lives we’re living. We enjoy the air-con in the class each day. we enjoy speaking to our friends who are still alive with us. We have the energy to pen down words. We still have the life in us.

Take a look at the Iraq war.

Dulce et decorum est, pro patria mori – it is sweet and fitting to die for one’s country

How true is that? When lives are wasted for no reason. The Iraq war is pointless.

One of the six, Lance Cpl. Jeff Boskovitch, 25, was an aspiring police officer who planned to set a wedding date with his girlfriend when he returned home this fall. He joined the Marine reserves in 2000, his uncle Paul Boskovitch said Tuesday.

“We got a lot of e-mail from him,” Boskovitch said. “He felt he was making a difference there and that the Iraqi people were appreciative of what they were doing.

They are the victims of mindless propaganda, just as we are subject to the Lee Dynasty, believing that they are doing this, sacrificing their lives, their futures, for a greater good. This good is no better than the pointless loss of lives in the World Wars.
Think, and realise it isn’t so bad. Listen, and pray for the lives lost, and pray that their souls were saved, and that their deaths were fitting.

a moment in time.
20:46

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

What an eff-ed up day.

It was fine I guess, at the start. Then it started when our math poster was almost done, and we received the news that we would have to redo it. or face penalisation, of course. Eventually there was a huge rush, and the poster seems to be progressing fine. Then people I once thought were decent and could be trusted totally changed their image. There's something called privacy, and it should be respected.

I should have known better.

Shid la. Chinese tomorrow. I gave up on studying liao. no mood at all. screw all of this.

fklife

a moment in time.
20:16

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

=)

- 2 tests down, 2 to go (but the worst 2 though)
- so far the 2 tests done have been fine
- 1st for lang arts test: redemption for other recent marks
- bio ppt =) woot group 4 we kick ass =)
- haha collecting water from the canal was fun lol. btw, we should have lessons out of class. Like at ecp or something
- most of math project done, now’s the piecing together that’s left
- haha thanks to prema’s mum for super nice jalan kayu prata =)
- people actually care about me haha thanks guys =)
- I’m thinking of nice, happie stuff =) yay

=(

- it’s week 8, doomsweek
- Thursday has yet to come, and is reaching soon
- I’m just damn scared of Chinese test can? Really dunno how to study so much
- Won’t be able to complete math proj extension by tomorrow. I’ll need an extension for an extension.
- Stuff still unsolved haha

So life’s getting better I guess haha I feel generally HAPPIE now =)

=S

"A team of researchers at Singapore's Institute of Bioengineering and Nanotechnology (IBN) has developed the first paper battery that generates electricity from urine... Only a drop of urine is needed for the battery to generate enough electricity to power a biochip device." - http://izreloaded.tripod.com/aug2005.htm

a moment in time.
22:37

Monday, August 15, 2005

thomYk says:
Perhaps you could just pass a message and those who are interested can just contact me on their own.
thomYk says:
Actually, could you just say that I am on MSN and if they would like to contact me just send me a link.

thomYk is Mr James Koh

his email is koh_sze_ming@moe.edu.sg

oh, btw, he chats in full sentences with perfect grammar and spelling. oO

there you go, one more teacher to add to your contact lists

pass the message or something.

this is weird oO

Update

Oh btw, if you asked Koh why he starting msn-ing students, and he says ask Mark, then answer simple lor. I asked him if he had msn, then he said yeah and he'll add me. lol.

This is gonna be the talk of tomorrow lah. Lolness. Some people have had interesting convos with mr koh. like nick and his higher authority thing and formal language. and ch and his dogs. oO ahaha how funky.

We must get more teacher's emails.

a moment in time.
22:21

Lol what a day. Chinese letter test was fine. Ahaha. And ms low treated us to ben and jerry’s! woot. It was a bribe, as she said ahaha. Cos week 8 (this week) is gonna be hell.

Anyway, this is what we did during the 2nd break. The first v13 war! Communists or the metal-buttons alliance (dhs, cchms etc) vs the democrats (vs, tkgs etc) or the plastic-buttons united. LOL. we are bo liao. it comes complete with a war plan covering Singapore.

a moment in time.
20:48

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

"And Your hand it comforts me,
From the ends of the earth to the depths of my heart" - I Will Run To You

[markhsx]: homework
Posted by markhsx
Posted @ [14 Aug 2005, 10:45:57 PM]
Yes, homework. That dreaded word. (I can already hear those wails of sorrow) We all hate homework. Here's why I think homework is ghey crap unreasonable.

1. No homework should be given because work is meant to be done in schools, and we need our rest at home. A good dinner, a good time having fun, and a good night's sleep. (I haven't have a good night's sleep in 2 months) Homework defeats the purpose of even going home from school.

2. We need our fun time. Life isn't just about work. Seeing the workload we are being given (there is no day that no piece of homework has been given, except the weekends and hols of course), substantial time for fun and play (read: play hard) is something one would call non-existant on weekdays/nights.

To even play one round of Battlefield 2 means to sacrifice sleep so that I can finish my work on time

3. Teachers shouldn't bs/crap to tell us about being able to do work on time and sleep on time and even have play time with proper time management. If they think it's so easy, then get them to manage our time for us. You'll find that it is impossible. How can they expect us to do all these, and study continually for surprise tests? One word - crazy.

4. The worst thing about homework is holiday homework. Doesn't the MOE realise that it is a TOTAL oxymoron? Homework is an ANTONYM of holiday. Holidays are meant for total rest. As in overseas trips, class chalets, games, going out, slacking and stoning. I used to travel overseas when I was young, until the advent of *gasp* holiday homework.

Holiday homework is the worst invention after the examinations. Don't even get me started on that.

Yeah yeah, I know the teachers are furious now. I apologise, this is coming from a guy who slept at 4 last night, and has spent the last 48 hours of his life trying to study 500+ Chinese words, doing two projects at the same time, while managing a chemistry test-like essay assignment and a social studies test, all at the same time.

We aren't superheroes, we don't possess unlimited energy. Give us a break. A holiday WITHOUT homework. Or just one weekend with no homework at all. It'll never come will it?

Taufik once said, "I Dream", but he sure doesn't know that his dreams go down the drain.

Like a friend of mine(ie xtine =) ) said, "excuse me, i shall celebrate my stupidity by doing chinese homework".

3 teachers would have seen that already. I’m posting it here so teachers like ms low will see too.

So today, I didn’t go to church. Cos it was celebration Sunday, and the crowd is really crazy over there. Also, I needed to do the ss takehome test. Of course, I did my own devotion, I won’t lose time with God over a piece of homework. I sat down at starbucks, ordered a frappuccino, and started writing. What a way to do a test.

Oh and I met jastine and yixiang at the lib too. Lol.

Then went to Prema’s house to do math proj. ahaha. I was super tired lor. Slept at 4am. But we got quite a lot done. Im worried about bio proj… I’m scared we’re on the wrong track. But it doesn’t seem so. Haha actually bio is going quite well.

My mum was complaining about the workload and was like I won’t lose my child to studies, cos she said I was breaking down. And I was like I won’t fail this Chinese test I won’t fail this Chinese test. And I have to do my ss test after this (it was 4am). Go sleep ma, gotta go to church tomorrow. And she was like mark you better go sleep now. You children are not robots. Even uni students don’t sleep this late And she’s like super pissed cos I’ve been sleeping super late for 2 months liao. and yesterday I didn’t rest at all. not even one round of bf2.

I have been reduced to a mindless machine, ready to do the bidding of the moe.

I am breaking down.

There’s just too much stuff.

(and physics test is thursday again)

It’s not just the work

It’s all about you

We don’t talk anymore

And I’m just here staring at the screen

Thinking you must hate me or something

And that you don’t believe me at all

I don’t know why my eyes are wet.

I don’t know why I love you.

And don't read too deep into this =)

My blog causes a lot of misunderstandings

Of which one is hurting me a hell lot now

a moment in time.
23:20

blardy hell. it's 2:32. =) ahaha. still studying chinese. a few more pages to go. i dun think i'll be studying properly for this one, there's just too much, and i can't take it. i trust that the Lord will pull me through, and that i will have everything i need in my brain on that day.

please Lord, get me through this.
get us through this.

heh. it's 2:58 am. mum just came out and complained about sec 3s being forced to sleep so late. and that uni students don't even sleep this late. she's like super pissed at the work we're being given, and all the tests. lol. i think i heard a few other mums feel the same way. ahaha. hope the teachers are reading this. =)

woot.

it's 3:00am!!!

ok. i'll stay till 4. and hopefully go to church tomorrow. and do math proj too. ahhh.

a moment in time.
02:29

btw. chinese is hell to study yarh?

and august reachs mid point. the last two weeks have been traumatising. i wish it could be better. =(

oh. and here's celebrating 40010 hits on this blog! milestone! =)

a moment in time.
01:19

Lol lah. Yesterday went to charissa’s house to do bio proj. ahaha, then before that we went to seletar airbase. Nothing new lah. haha then went to charissa’s house. Haha nice house charissa! Got lotsa nice stuff too haha.

Haha we played some puzzle thing, then we brought prema to her church, then came back, and started on bio. Then ch came. Then sent xtine halfway to busstop. Then go back, and did bio proj.

Of course, it’s not complete. But hell if we haven’t done a great job. Woot the vid’s nice, thanks to xtine, the ppt too, thanks to xtine and prema, ch who is staying up late to do report and who cut the holes, thus risking his life, charissa for the model-making and providing all the stuff, and not getting herself burned. Haha

What a day. I took 72 home. Charissa, it only took 20 mins lah haha. =) bought a beef steak home for dinner. of cos, low cost, low quality – but it’s still a steak, without the wine though =( it was cooked well done. I hate well done. Argh. I need a good beef steak next week. Especially next week.

Haha ok physics test is on Friday, not Thursday. So not as bad. But still damn bad. ARGHHHH.

Haha I wanna stay up till 3am today for fun =) and study Chinese. Ahhh. I pray that I don’t die for Chinese. Have faith yah?

I can't stop thinking
About what you think of me

a moment in time.
01:17

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Wahhh. It’s 1:24 am. And i’m blardy tired. It’s been such a loooong day!

Math was understandable and there was a nice question at the end. But tough one though. Haha pe was fun. =) vball and floorball! Woots. Ahaha. Ss was fine. But we have a takehome test.

Omgoodness.

Ok tomorrow I go to charissa’s house to do bio. Then Sunday to prema’s house to do math. ahhhhh how to do the ss takehome test! Siao lah. No time lah. Then today i spent my time finishing off the chem assignment and doing part of bio report. Wahhh. I guess I’ll have to squeeze in time to do the ss test. Wah lao.

And next week, we have 4 tests.

Monday: Chinese letter
Tuesday: Chinese compo, Bio presentations due/presenting
Thursday: Chinese big test (all chapters) and Physics test, math project due

Thursday is killer. Wah.

And rest period is over. Thought I could rest today, but suddenly got the take home test so had to rush everything else.

But never mind, we went shopping today. Lol. for project materials. Wah then we split up. Me, charissa and ch went to giant. And walk and look for stuff also got nothing good. Then ch keep straying away and like me and charissa have to go find him oO. then we went to the diy shops also got nothing. In the end bought plastic cups and filter paper. Lol then me and charissa went back to school and then me kog and xtine waited for prema then dicussed math proj.

So tired lah. had dinner with dad at ecp, then took a quick nap, then rush all the work.

What a day. it’s gonna be hell next week.

But as xtine’s email to me says - Read the Bible -- It will scare the hell out of you.

Yeah. =)

I wish we could talk
I really do
Sort everything out
I hope you know the truth
I hope they understand
I did you no wrong
I only want to see you happy

a moment in time.
01:30

Friday, August 12, 2005

These are some mistakes I see the RSAF, under the Singapore government making.

On November 18th, 2004 it was announced the RSAF will be donating its remaining 7 F-16A/B's (3 Alphas and 4 Bravos) to the Royal Thai Air Force. They will handed over the course of 2005. In return, the RSAF is given access to train on the Thai air base of Udon Thani for a set number of days each year.

I mean like shid. We DONATE aircraft when we don't have enough? And not just that, we donate the mainstay of our air force? Like wth? F-16s are the best aircraft in the RSAF. (Sadly. Our air force is rather sad) Who cares if they're Block A or B. We need those aircraft. And we got to train in exchange? For a SET number of days each year? Sheesh. This is so not a fair exchange.

Also, after 31 years of operations, the RSAF officially withdrew its fleet of Super Skyhawks from operational service on 31 March 2005. The A-4SUs' achievements included flying directly from Singapore to the Philippines, incorporating the RSAF's first air-to-air refuelling mission in 1986, as well as the excellent aerobatic display of the 'red and white' Super Skyhawks flown by the RSAF Black Knights during Asian Aerospace 1990. A month before its retirement, the SkyHawk squadron won the top honours in a strike exercise against its more modern F-16 and F-5 counterparts.

31 years is a long way, and the Super Skyhawk is an old aircraft. But our country spent millions upgrading those Super Skyhawks. Singapore's the best in upgrading aircraft. And we just gave up that position. Our air force is so gonna be outnumbered. I mean shid. Even Malaysia has better aircraft than us. oO Shid. They have the MiG-29. That's one of the best Russian craft. And they have the Su-30. And Singapore has old American aircraft. Wtf.

The third mistake is the government striking the Eurofighter off its list. Now the F-15e and Rafale are left. These 2 aircraft are older than the Eurofighter (the F-15e must be 20+ years old already, the F-15 is 35+ years old) and the Eurofighter is way better. It's an air superiority jet. We don't need strike jets, we're not offensive, remember? Bahness. They better chose the Rafale.

At least we have the 20 Apaches. But what the hell. They're based in AMERICA. They'll take a month to fully deploy to Singapore in event of attack.

WAH WHAT THE HELL IS OUR GOVERNMENT DOING???

Students like us can do better than that!

a moment in time.
00:19

Thursday, August 11, 2005

http://www.worldtournament.net/bfcomic/index.php?page=communitycomic&id=107

lol to Battlefield comics. I found this tribute to Singaporean gamers. Lol.

What a day. AHHH. Mathematics was actually understandable. Bio was quite ghey with the “role play” and all. wahh. oO. lol. then we got back our papers. The first test I’ve failed in the whole year! Damn sad sia. And my last bio test wasn’t too good. Eh wait. I think I got quite high last test. 3rd? haha dunno But I failed this one! Bahhhh. Bio is my worst science.

Physics prac was fine. Haha I tyco tyco got the gradient thing correct haha. and I was like asking ms tey how to do gradient. Then she said sorry I can’t tell you. So I anyhow do. what height over width, because I thought for every width increase by how much height. So yah. That’s gradient. Hope I did well for this test. Haii. Some sadness.

Lol then the Chinese workshop/talk thing was like all gasp and stuff. Cos like so hard to understand. Then only the prcs know when to laugh, so we were like just see when they laugh then we laugh lor. And even the hcl people were like oO. Lol. Aiyah what script writing la. Haha then we sat in the swings. And stoned. Then go for prep.

Indieventure teasers were like nice larh. Hmm. Not bad for a low-grade production. Actually it was good. Nicely done. Very nicely done. Especially the music and images. =) woo. Hmm. Choices to make then. then we did our bio proj sitting outside the arts block. And the students and teachers were like oO. Ahaha. Then we got very restless and sick of the whole bio proj thing. Like everyone else. It’s just effed up can? Argh.

Then did math in school. And finished up at home. Haha my math assignments are like thick de lor. Don’t know why. Haha I think I print out a lot of crap. Ahhh. Gtg do ss. Bahh.

BLAAAARDY HELL.
NEXT WEEK IS LIKE DIE SIA.
MONDAY, TUESDAY, THURSDAY ALL GOT CHINESE TEST
THEN MONDAY OR THURSDAY IS PHYSICS TEST
THEN FRIDAY IS SS TEST (DISCUSSION ALLOWED)
Wahh FIVE tests in a week horh.

And I can’t bear to see your face
It hurts me just to see you
Please talk to me
Save me from this pain
Tell me you’re not angry with me
Tell me that nothing’s going wrong

I’ve been waiting.
And waiting.

a moment in time.
23:06

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

I spent 5 hours doing a math report on ancient numerals. But the results were rather satisfying I must say. =) woo. Hope the group likes it. I sort of fell asleep after dinner, trying to start chem. and/or math assignment. I think I shall go compile my ss notes first. Hmm. There’s a test tomorrow! Physics practical. ARGH. I hate practicals.

And how will I face you tomorrow
How will I face you again
How will I face all of you again
How does one prove his innocence
When everyone else thinks otherwise

a moment in time.
21:41

I was browsing through the last two year's worth of work, looking for material for the math project, and I uncovered two "gems" *cough cough*. Namely - bus park and the lost boy. These two are the more famous of my... "works"/"masterpieces"/"whatever", and sadly, the worst two also. Infamous, I'd say. Lol! Just to bring back the memories. They REALLY suck though.

a moment in time.
13:30

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

In celebration of Singapore’s 40th birthday, I decided to try out a classic American BF2 stunt. I might be the first Singaporean to do so! Following in the footsteps of other battlefield enthusiasts, this is a video of what I managed to do during my 2nd try.

http://web.vjc.moe.edu.sg/students/v05v13_hengsxm/stunt.wmv

It involves leaping from a plane, and in freefall, without any parachute, aim to get back into the plane while in mid-air. Woo! I captured it as a demo video, and the perspective I wanted isn’t that good haha. It jumps from computer view to fly-by to first person view. But, it’s still a milestone in my Battlefield 2 “career”. Woots

Oh! And NDP this year seriously rocked lah. haha they had heartland stations. There was one at Tampines stadium! Ahh I didn’t know! But anyway, they had a lot of new/rare stuff.

the mobile column was way better with all the new weapons Singapore developed, the aerial display was larger with more types of planes instead of the usual f-16s, the marching was stupendous, the parade was great too. And the fireworks were better than those over yokohama in Japan.

Haha but it is a decade celebrtation. So we might not see such great stuff till 10 years later. But still, really enjoyed it, even from the comforts of my home. Woot!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!

a moment in time.
21:21

Woo. Happy National Day people!!! I woke up at 2pm! Heh. This is a collage of something new I tried out in bf2. Creating a local server, and testing out everything. Here's a f-35b hovering, then attacking the MEC airbase (which is, of course, empty of enemy troops)

a moment in time.
16:51

heh. 2nd in team, 3rd overall. and this is just halfway through the game. eventually i would play as sniper and infiltrate the enemy airbase, and after sniping a few mec troops, got chopped down myself by countersniper activity. lol. i got a lot of kills as a super cobra gunner. woot. but f-35 and sniper are still the best.

i do hope stuff gets better over these few days. i'm feeling... worthless... =( ahh.

a moment in time.
00:58

Monday, August 08, 2005

I’m sorry I even loved you
I’m sorry for whatever you’re going through
Just want you to know
That I’m really innocent
Please stop accusing me
Save me from the pain
I can’t face you anymore
The friendship is way more important
Than any other love, cos it’s all pointless
And I don’t wanna lose the friendship
Just because of all this
Because I’m not guilty
Sometimes we gotta look at the world
The beauty of it all
The beauty of life
And try to smile =)
And I hope you’re smiling too
Cos I’m sad when you’re sad
Look at the stars
And how they shine for you

What a day. argh. Dunno lah. just can’t face this world anymore. And it’s people. It’s all so superficial. Everything’s about what you see on the outside. It’s not like the old days when everyone was happy with each other, and if you didn’t like anyone, you’d tell the person straight to the face.

Now we’ve matured, and we don’t have the courage to do that anymore. I wonder if maturity is indeed the great aim that everyone was looking forward to. Yes, we know more now, but we have lost our innocence, our child-like ignorance to the cruelties and evils of this world.

We’ve changed. We’ve all changed. I’ve changed. And I don’t know if it’s for the better. I ask myself why. What’s this life about? Why do we even care? Why are we so afraid of death when we complain so much about life? Haii.

To whom it may concern: sorry for all this stuff that’s happening. I want you to be happy, so yeah. You will have the strength to hang on, to move on. And I just want to say that I never said anything. Never did anything either. I hope you know the truth..

Please tell me what I’ve done wrong. Please understand, I’m innocent. And it’s not just you. It’s everyone else. I can’t face any of you now. It’s hard when you’re the bad man. When you’re the sad man. Yeah.

lol. this morning was a joke lah. national day celebrations. Then during flag-raising, the national flag dropped. Wahh. Like irony lah. lol. some marching thing, then games, then a nice video and then a funny video (which was the best part of the celebrations) then performance and singing and mass dance.

Then did bio project, then after that took 36 to plaza singapura. We ate at gelare. Ahahaha. waffles! Ahh but their pistachio almond sucks… wahh lol then we took mrt to city hall, and walked to shaw tower. Ahahah.

Then reach there, realised we were late for Charlie and the choco factory by 15 mins. At 230. then we waited all the way till 430 for the movie. Ahaha. Wah sian lehh. Go to some shop, and I bought earphones. Ahh not gold-plated! Ew. Haha then sit down and stone.

Ahaha. The movie rocks lah! not the best, but good. haha but they added to the plot! The flashbacks were good. Showed willy wonka’s troubled childhood thing. lol. no wonder he’s so… weird. he has this weird (gay) voice and a weird (gay) smile. And he smirks to himself and has this quizzical look in his eyes. Lol! freaky lah. reminds us of someone. Heh

Then after that we all went home. Haha took mrt with xx, naz and jared. Talk talk. Quite a sian day actually. ahhh

a moment in time.
22:38

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Hell yeah!!!

You know, it’s kinda freaky when you realise that the teachers know more than you think they know. Maybe sometimes we make stuff obvious, but yah. For example, ms low might be reading this entry now. She reads all v13 people’s blogs I think. Or mrs koh. She told us she reads our blogs during some chem. lesson. Or whatever other teacher reading our blogs.

Teachers know a lot lehh. They’re like blardy observant. They’re not ignorant. They have this sixth sense thing and they sense stuff we don’t even tell them. actually, I’d rather think they eavesdrop. Hmm wonder if we can trust teachers. But I guess, they’re humans too. Lol. We gossip about them too, no? haha. I hope they don’t know too much. oO. it would be so freaky lah.

Ahh. So bored. Stooped homework. And nat day celebrations tomorrow. Time to start acting patriotic. Ohhh this is my home! This is my country! This is where I belong! La la la la. Lol. here we go again. For Singapore! FOR SINGAPORE!!!

a moment in time.
23:24

woo. this is THE video. the one and only. anaerobic respiration song!!! craziness exemplified (~1mb)

http://web.vjc.moe.edu.sg/students/v05v13_hengsxm/siaolah.wmv

and then, there's a quick poem:

It would not matter

If I poured concentrated acid into my eyes
Let them burn, and let me die
If I used a steak knife to show my guts
And replace them with steak and wine
If I stuck a hose down my throat
Sewed my lips together, and opened the tap
If I used sandpaper to slowly rub pain
Into the reaches of my heart
If I cut my throat and let the breath
Seep away as I cry out your name in agony
If I put a noose around my neck
And sent my body flying away into space
If I use a screwdriver to screw out
Every single piece of meat in this body of mine
If I strapped myself into a cement mixer
And let myself harden in the grey matter
If I slowly put weight upon weight upon my body
You, the final weight, crush my corpse with a million kg.
If I carved your name into my heart
And let the blood spell your name

It would not matter
It would not matter to you.

a moment in time.
16:34

Christians
We do not think we are perfect
For all were born sinners
We do not think we are superior
For all are equal in the eyes of God
We do not know what might come tomorrow
We do not know what’s gonna happen
We do not know what the world has for us
We do not know what we’ll face

But we know the love of God
And we will spread the Word

“There is a longing only You can fill
A raging temptest only You can still
My soul is thirsty Lord
To know You as I'm known
Drink from the river
That flows before your throne

Take me deeper
Deeper in love with You
Jesus hold me close in Your embrace
Take me deeper
Deeper than I've ever been before
I just want to love You more and more
How I long to be deeper in love

Sunrise to sunrise
I will seek Your face
Drawn by the Spirit
To the promise of Your grace
My heart has found in You
A hope that will abide
Here in Your presence
Forever satisfied”

Ahh. Yee jek suddenly told me stuff on Friday evening and I was like oO. haha and nick too.
To v11!!!:
Ahh I’m innocent. =( haha anyway, we are entering the final rest week. Before week 8, Doomweek. Ahh. Chinese BIG test! I feel so… lifeless. So drained. Life’s so… pointless. oO. lol. Now, all I’m living for is God and love and the what beauty is left in the world, and I live for life. Just to be. So that maybe one day, I’ll make a difference. A good difference. Yupp.

When will all this end?

a moment in time.
15:52

Saturday, August 06, 2005

There is no emotion; there is peace.
There is no ignorance; there is knowledge.
There is no passion; there is serenity.
There is no chaos; there is harmony.
There is no death; there is the Force.

Lolness. What a ghey day. OO

I think I might change the pic on the blog template lol.

a moment in time.
23:29

Many of my photos taken yesterday at the Esplanade (see: http://www.flickr.com/photos/markhsx for the better photos) were blurred. And also at the dxo a few weeks ago. Nic adjusted exposure or smth and then the photos she took came out fine. So I decided to solve this problem. It lies in exposure speed. These two are from http://www.shortcourses.com/using/cameracontrols/chapter1.htm

The shutter and motion

In addition to controlling exposure (the amount of light that reaches the image sensor), the shutter speed is the most important control you have over how motion is captured in a photograph. Understanding shutter speeds is vital if you want to anticipate if a moving subject will appear in your image sharp or blurred. The longer the shutter is open, the more a moving subject will be blurred in the picture Also, the longer it's open the more likely you are to cause blur by moving the camera slightly.

Understanding shutter speed settings

Although digital cameras can select any fraction of a second for an exposure, there are a series of settings that have traditionally been used when you set it yourself (which you can't do on many digital cameras). These shutter speed settings are arranged in a sequence so that each setting lets in half as much light as the next slowest setting and twice as much as the next fastest. The traditional shutter speeds (listed from the fastest to the slowest speeds) include 1/1000, 1/500, 1/250, 1/125, 1/60, 1/30, 1/15, 1/8, 1/4, 1/2, and 1 second. Although speeds faster than 1 second are fractions of a second most cameras display them without the numerator. For example, 1/2 second is displayed as 2.

a moment in time.
16:17

if there's something so hard to do
it's gotta be loving you

???????, ???????

if i ever love again
someone please
put a bullet
through my head

if i ever see you
with him again
if i ever feel that
heartbreak again

just put a bullet
through my head

nahh. i'm not being angsty. i'm just being me. =)

a moment in time.
14:09

Woo. Today rocked. (ie friday. it's actually sat)
exceptlove.
Thanks yuhui for the mr bean teddy bear! =) miss ya lots yarh. Haha gotta talk one day kk?

I scored 2 goals during floorball! Whee. And we played vball too! Heh. And since the teacher wasn’t supervising us guys, but the girls, we could play with no rules. Lol! fun lah. And floorball is damn fun lah. haha kog says I had a lot of chances but didn’t take them. I missed a few shots. But scored 2. so yay =)

Ahaha! Then now so much homework! Ahhh. I’ll start tomorrow. I’m gonna die lah. but next week is the rest week, before the worst week so far (according to teachers and schedule). Week 8. doomweek.

After some discussion and meetings, I went out with my parents to buy a shirt. And have lunch. Woo. Sirloin steak. Medium rare in wild mushroom sauce. Ahh. But no red wine. =( haha. I need to start drinking again. As in just one round lah. I haven’t taken alcohol in like 4 months. Ahh.

Then I chose what I thought was a really nice shirt from g2000 and bought on impulse. But they only had one piece left. And it fits perfectly. 14.5 budden I think it’ll be too small after a while… budden I really like the material and colour haha. dark grey. =)

After slacking at home, went to city hall at 5. met the people there, then we went around haha. the girls dressed up! Haha it’s unusual to see girls in skirts. As in outside of school And the guys dressed up too! Lol. then we ate at food court, and went to the esplanade.

Wahh. Dim sum dollies was blardy funny larh. I think it’s one of the best plays I’ve watched!!! Haha it’s like a sketch show lah. where there are mostly unrelated shorts comedies put together. But the thing is, dim sum dollies have different parts all making fun of parts of our life, country etc etc. it was great! Especially the NSB (national sperm bank) one. Haha they parody a lot of stuff lah. and the language is good too. Colourful lol.

During the intermission, we went to the bar thing. wahh. One can for 3 bucks. and one Perrier for 5. even the shops below the theatre are cheaper lah. even haagen dazs is cheaper. oO haha it ended off with a great note of patriotism. Even after so much subtle criticism and poking fun at Singapore, it’s great to know that we’re Singaporeans. Listening to their renditions of national songs. Waving the Singapore flags they gave out. And cheering. And cheering. And ovation.

What a night.
And I saw you with him.
What a great night =)

Woot.

Lol. then my parents fetched ama, Cheryl and Beatrice back. And I slept in the car. Wah damn tired. Shall write stuff down, then go sleep, then tomorrow it’s back to work. Haii.

a moment in time.
01:53

Thursday, August 04, 2005

It ain’t all right. Fuck it all.

Shid.
Things start to fall apart.
The centre cannot hold.
The centre CANNOT hold.

I dunno how bad it’s gonna be.

But life’s starting to screw up again.

One of the reasons are the tests and exams. I’m scared about the results. I’m scared of the consequences.

Other reasons cannot be stated.

I fear what might happen.

I hope everything will be alright.

Bio was the most interesting. Cos our group wrote a randomly generated song! Mosrly by prema. And it was crazie. Lol. prema the singer, charissa the drummer/pianist and chan huan the live model (deep breather) and me the fake electric guitarist. Woo. And xtine was with us. =) even though she was at home. Get well soon girl!

Sometimes I ask myself why I pretend to be happy. It breaks me down inside. And I don’t know why I act. Maybe it’s just because I don’t want others to be sad. Sometimes life is really hard to take. And you feel like screaming. But you can’t. cos you’re all alone in this room. We have never been free. It’s the 4 walls that trap us. And when you scream, it echoes. And it hurts you.

And your heart cries.
And your heart hurts.
When everything goes wrong
There is no one to look to.
No one.
Only the Lord.
Only the Lord.

To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you

WHY DO I EVEN LOVE YOU.
YOU WOULD NEVER EVER LOVE ME ANYWAY
NEVER.
WHY.

a moment in time.
22:58

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Lol. today is rest day. make as much of it as possible. I slept at 3 yesterday. Cos I was so bored. And was waiting… haha. anyway, here’s a pic from last Friday. Macdonalds. Lol. nazri has taken it and set it as his display pic. Which suits him more than me haha.

Today was funky. Photo taking! Woo. Haha I think our shots were nice =) hope we can get digital copies too haha. then set as wallpaper. =) ohh. Haha ch brought a handgun. Then got super soaker, umbrellas, googles, snorkels. And my dad brought to me a squirrel and my polar bear thing. and a spitfire model. Haha. Xh likes it =) so does sean. Haha nice lah. Happy =)

This is me hanging myself (xx taking photos. She took other photos today, but her photography arh, a bit cmi lah. blur blur de haha)

Then nanotech was interesting. Try to get silver nanoparticles. Haha then clara and sihui tell me to add 500 µl of silver nitrate. Then I forgot we were not supposed to add more than 200 µl. haha in the end I got macroparticles. And me and leon (who added 400) redid. I chose to heat for 7 mins, ending up with a brownish-grey solution.

Then I had t42 with mr koh. He asked me about grades. Wahh. A bit sad lah. dunno how much I will get for ca2. also hope I can make it through the exams. My aim was to get 70+. Sigh. I’m aiming for a1 (75), but in the view of all the stress and stuff, a bit hard to continue liddat lah. my hope now is that my math is improving, because I realised in this term how much assignments counted, and that extensions gave extra marks.

Then talk about ambition. Ahh. My hopes!!! My destiny!! Ahhh. All gone. All gone. Life’s so pointless. No hope, no dreams, no love. I had three career choices: air force pilot, sniper, psychologist.

Air force pilot: dropout rate super high, regular army life tough, and koh says ocs is shitty. He really used the word “shitty” and he said some parts of ocs were ok. as in ok. not good. Ok only.

Sniper: have to go through prisoner of war training, possibly having to kill self in event of capture, tough training, requires great mental stability, cos you’re in enemy territory.

Psychology: dunno lah. doctor isn’t my kind of thing. I just wanna learn how people think. so maybe something in psychology.

Then there were others.

Quantum physics: I love the concept of it, but the mathematics and formulas involved really put me off.

Civilian pilot: a good possible choice. Only have to take-off and land. Journey is taking care of auto-pilot. Lol. but damn shuang lah.

Currently I am considering something in design, without formula and all that. Something with creativity. Like a job at 3M and that innovation company I forgot. Or aircraft or weapons design. The part without formula. I just can’t stand formulae.

Haii.

He asked if I got anything to ask. Haha then talked about stuff that shouldn’t be discussed here. Haii. Asked if I was happy with that stuff and all. said I was fine. I don’t know, don’t think I can be truly happy. Haha.

As long as fine can liao. ah well, time to start playing. And no chun han, I won’t play halo. Heh. Shall play bf2. (just realised that koh doesn’t read my blog. I think that if teachers read our blogs, then they’d know what to talk about during t42. lol) Then tomorrow I’ll start work.

I don’t know what to do
I don’t know what to say
I saw you with him today
And I don’t know what to think
I don’t know why it hurts so much
I don’t know why I even love you.

a moment in time.
22:10

Haha ytd (1.06 am now) was quite sian. Sigh. Haha stooped printer’s cyan thing is gheyed up. So all my stuff is being printed in red. Or pink. Ew. Wahhh. Hot pink somemore. oO. Lol. I need to get new cartridge tmr.. kk back to homework!

a moment in time.
01:09

Monday, August 01, 2005

15 years on this Earth.
And the only true love I have ever found.
Is the love of God.
"Thank you for the cross Lord
Thank you for the price you paid
Bearing all my sin and shame
In love you came
And gave amazing grace"

I recall the time I cried tears of joy
A long time ago in p6
Just before PSLE results were given out
We were in class
The fans whirred in harmony
There was the nervous cracking of knuckles
And the rustle of paper
As out teacher entered the classroom
She announced
“Children. Those of you who are about to receive this certificate, will be promoted to Higher Chinese next year”

I was like, ah well.
That’d be swell
But it’s so not gonna be me.
(I was the last in Chinese you see)

“Mark Heng Shu Xun”
Mdm Chong pronounced with a smile
I was like yeah right.
Then good ol’ SB whacked me on the back
And amidst applause
I received a miracle

haha today fun sia. What the hell lah.

First. I learnt the wrong chapter for ting xie! I effing slept at 3 am and I learnt the WRONG ting xie! Budden I got 90% in the end (10% gone due to careless mistakes). So that’s quite an achievement

Second. Chem marks screwed? Maybe. ‘nuff said.

Third. NAPFA.
Holy shid. NAPFA.
Ran 2.4 today.
Haha everytime I started to walk, my mind would be saying, to hell with gold larh. then someone would push me and I’d run again. Haha. then end of 5th round some guy shouted to me “last round”! then I thot I finished liao, so I turned to the “runway”. Then aaron and subra were like mark wth are you doing! So I made a u-turn. Haha waste 5 seconds sia.

Anyway, I got 2As (10), a B (4), 3 Cs (9)
That’s a gold.
If they consider me 14 years old
Which they’re supposed to or something.
I will so scream if I dun get gold.
Cos it would be an effing waste of time. oO

a moment in time.
23:13

i've got three confessions to make.
1) i REALLY REALLY should be doing bio now. (i am. but im procrastinanting too)
2) i just played bf2 (i hear sighs from ms low, who is a silent visitor to this blog) and got FIRST! haha. milestone ymy! worthwhile haha
3) i was so bored of bio that i did this quiz. -_-" from yh haha. it's one of the more interesting quizzes to do!

FIRST PERSON U THINK OF:

PURPLE:
amanda oO

ORANGE:
yvonne duhhh

LIGHTNING:
justin and his sith lightning

FLOWERS:
michelle oO

MUSIC:
charissa and Xh!

UNDERWEAR:
wtf. umm. jastine oO.

MIDDLE FINGER:
jastine. heh

SIAO ZAH BOH:
audrey! yah. and v12 people lah. crazie ppl.

SCHOOL:
=)

HANDPHONE:
xtine and the snatching of her hp

COMIC:
christine haha. spiderman maniac!

CLOCK:
xiao xian haha class clock lah

RUBBISH BIN:
nazri - always got lame crap coming out of his mouth haha

PIGS:
jovena cos she likes pig or smth haha

SINGAPORE:
lee hsien loong - pm ymy

MCDONALDS:
nicole cos we went to mcd so many times in shps. haha with visa and sb and js. lol

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS:
michelle cos she likes spongebob. i thk. haha

JELLYFISH:
relatives becos we always have jellyfish at dinners

BASKETBALL:
js and sam chye lol

SOMEONE FALLING DOWN:
myself cos i tripped myself today oO

a moment in time.
21:35

WOOOOOOOOOT.

the National Inter-school Blogging Competition has just come to the end of its 1st round.

And guess who are the champions!

VJC.

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIEND.

wooot.

yesterday (ie 31 july) has been a really good day

REALLY REALLY GOOD. =)

heh. wanna thank everyone who helped us get 1st! =) the blog team, the bloggers, those who visited, those who voted, those who provided support in any way. =)

woo!

lol now i gtg learn ting xie. and it's 110. wahh. i've been sleeping so late lately. for one whole week ive been sleeping at 2am. used to sleep at 10 pm lah. lol.

=)

wheeeee!!!!

a moment in time.
01:07